A Toast to parenthood - a practical guide to parenting

The Show Off's Birthday Celebration

2009-02-07T09:48:00.015+08:00

Would you spend $2500 on a birthday cake (even is it is a safari cake complete with edible, handcrafted animals from a Branded Company)? Care to cough up $10 000 for your baby's first birthday bash? If these are not of signs of a show off, I'm not sure what else to call parents who splurge in such ways for their children's birthdays.

I come from a middle class family and the first person to celebrate his birthday was my second eldest brother, Razak for his 21st birthday. It was a simple celebration where family and close relatives and friends were invited and mum cooked scrumptious food.

About 14 years back, we celebrated our eldest son, Deen's first birthday. It was held at my in-laws place as we were living with them at that time. There were no funky themes or catered food. Just family and friends and great food which my mum-in-law cooked up.

As the years go by, there were some changes to the birthday celebrations for my kids. For my second child, Sabrina's forth birthday, we celebrated it in her kindergarten class. I bought for her a delicious cake and goodies bags for her to share with her classmates.

Two years back, when we celebrated my youngest daughter, Janeth's first birthday, there were lots of changes. The food was catered from a restaurant, there were games and prizes and goodies bags for the kids to bring back.

I hope that as we get more stabilised economically, we would be able to celebrate their birthdays with a splash! But there is a limit to how much we would splurge. Birthday celebration are a means to show our kids we love and care for them and a chance for family and friends to get together and have fun. Not a chance to show off!

Now that we are in a new country and have met lots of wonderful people who have become our friends, I hope to celebrate my third son, Mubarak's birthday in march.
The pleasure of a birthday celebration is the preparation where the children get together to make the decorations, invitations and help out with the food too. For those who are not too adventures ( or do not want the kids to mess up), there are lots great shops where you can get birthday party supplies.

For those who choose a middle path, (where you don't want to end up with doing all the stuff for your kid's birthday so that you don't have even a minute of peace before and during the celebration or take the easy way out and just pay up lots of money so that others can handle every little detail about the birthday celebration) you can be involved with your child's birthday celebration to the level that you wish. After you have chosen a theme, you could go to a birthday party supplies store and buy a wide range of products that you need for the celebration.

You can also choose from a variety of online sites such as www.birthdayexpress.com for all your birthday needs.

As my son loves Pokemon, I was searching for interesting favors and toys with that theme in mind. I'm sure my son and his friends will love to play and eat the yummy Pokemon Puzzle Gum.

When it comes to a birthday party, there so much to choose from. What are your kids going to wear for their big day, how are you going to decorate the venue, what is that yummy cake going to be, what are the games and activities for the party, what is going to be the keepsake gifts and favors and toys for the party.

I beleive planning in advance and shopping on line and comparing price on all the above mentioned items will help to minimise cost involved and yet not limit but indeed allow you to choose form a wide variety of products available so that you can have a fun celebration.

My FIVE Favorite Books for children aged 0 to 11

2009-01-22T09:53:00.003+08:00

Ages 0 to 3+

1. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
Eric Carle artwork, created by layered collage of hand painted papers, made this book an instant classic. The holes in the pages are exciting for little people to peek and poke fingers through, and ushered in an era of experimentation in book formats for children.

2. Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Ever feel angry and frustrated? This classic explores those feelings. It begins with some mischief, then Max, the hero is sent to bed by his mum and he manages to conquer the wild things of his imagination.

3. The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson
When a little mouse takes a walk in the forest he meets an owl, a snake and .... a guffalo. A hugely popular modern classic.

4. One Fish Two Fish Red Fish by Dr. Seuss
Is there any more joyful use of the English language than that found in the pages of a Dr. Seuss book? Reading them is such a pleasure, so read them early and often. Experience as many Dr. Seuss books as possible.

5. Window by Jeannie Baker
This is a picture book that defies age categorisation. Kids will get different things out of it at different ages. It shows the changing landscape in a view form a child's window as he grows up, with many layers of meaning about change, time and the world around us.

Ages 3 to 5+

1. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
And The Lorax, and There's a Wocket in My Pocket! and The Cat in the Hat. There are so many Dr.Seuss titles with something to offer.

2. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
This is an enduring story with an inspiring moral about being determined and believing in yourself.

3. The Muddleheaded Wombat by Ruth Park
He really is a stubborn fellow, and that's something kids of this age can relate to. Filled with humour and muddleheaded spoonerisms.

4. The Magnificent Nose and Other Marvels by Anna Flenberg
Fantastic adventure stories set in locations around the world.

5. Winnie-the-Pooh by Emest H. Sherpard
The adventures of young Christopher Robin Milne and his teddy-bear friend Winnie. The characters are a perfect ensemble: Pooh of little brain, piglet with his tizzies, Owl all pedantry, Ravvit Kanga, Roo and poor old Eyeore.

Ages 5 to 7+

1. The Wind in The Willows by Kenneth Grahame
The incorrigible Toad is playing right into the hands of the Weasels, and Ratty, Mole and Badger are doing their best to protect him and their riverside homes. All seen through the eyes of timid little Mole. who is capable or more than he realises when it comes to sticking up for his friends.

2. Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney

How to you quantify the love a child has for a parent or a parent has for their child? Little Nutbrown Hare and his dad try to find the words.

3. Eloise in Paris by Kay Thompson

If there's something going on, Eloise know about it. The spirited young girl shares all sort of semi-scandalous observations. For kids, her autonomy and Independence is a delight, and for parents, the wit and child's eye view is brilliant.

4. The Peasant Prince by Li Cunxin

Stunningly illustrated, this is an amazing autobiographical tale of a Chinese boy who rose from extreme poverty and become a world famous ballet dancer.

5. Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen

The Little Match Girl. The Ugly Ducking, The Red Shoes, The Princess and the Pea, The Emperor's New Clothes: some to these tales are perfect for the very young now, and save others for later.

Ages 7 to 9+

1. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol
Despotic queen bent on decapitating people, odd growing and shrinking experiences, and bad advice from very strange strangers; Alice's experiences as she chases the white rabbit are the essence of a strange dream, but she keeps her head in the end.

2. Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
The story of the friendship between the little pig Wilbur, the runt of the little, and Charlotte the spider, who saves his life by spinning words into her web. Its filled with humour, sincerity, sadness and most of all, love. This is a book that will never be forgotten.

3. Tom's Midnight Garden by Philippa Pearce

This is a haunting story about a child who stays with his uncle and aunt in a strange house and meets another lonely child from a different time. It won the Carneige Medal in 1958.

4. The Borrowers by Mary Norton

An enchanting tale of tiny people who live beneath the floorboards and borrow everything they need from the humans living above them.

5. Comet in Moominland by Tove Jansson

In a series of nine books and five picture books, the shy moomins, the Hobgloglin and the Hattifatteners have all sort of creative adventures. These books, originally written in Sweden, have become cult classics throughout the world.

Ages 9 to 11+

1. The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien
The epic fantasy story novel that introduces Bilbo Baggins. Rich with fully realised mythologies precise languages ans dark geopolitical struggles, the story of Bilbo's quest becomes a part of you forever. It opens the door to Tolkien's The Lord of the Ring trilogy, a world to explore with your kids in years to come.

2. The Little Prince by Anotine de Saint-Exupery
A sweet tale of the little prince, a visitor from Asteriod B612 who meets some characters and finds answers about friendship and love while on an incredible journey. It's a simply told story filled with beautiful sentiment that will become a favourite.

3. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S.Lewis
The first in the Chronicles of Narnia and one of the top children's bestsellers of all time. Four siblings find a hidden universe in the back of a wardrobe and enter, fulfilling an ancient prophecy to help the lion Aslan in his struggle to restore the land of Narnia.

4. The Wizard of Oz by L.Frank Baum
This classic book is not widely read. It's a US fairytale with wonderful characters and a great journey - expect many differences between this and the Judy Garland film.

5. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Reading this book is like sharing Anne's friendship through childhood and early adolescence. Her frustration and her remorse, her developing bonds with her new family and neighbours and her rivalries with schoolmates are wonderful reading for kids to enter high school.

My Favourite Holiday Ideas

2008-12-31T13:57:00.003+08:00

While my relatives and friends back home in Singapore are preparing to get their kids to school, I have been busy entertaining my kids this holidays. After our move to Adelaide, Australia in late November, we now have Extended Holidays, Yup, all the way until end January.

We are new here and since the school has not started yet my kids have not made any new friends of their age group yet. No relatives and friends to hang around with and lots of free time, so you can imagine the headache and stress I have to make sure they are not tooooo bored.

Here are some ideas and tips that has worked for me. Some of these ideas are from books and magazines that I have read and will like to try it out soon.

1. Arrange a picnic

Since sun set is about 8.30 pm over here , we go out at about about 6.30pm to the play ground nearby to have a picnic. The sea is near and the view is fantastic. Its really lovely to see the sun setting and to feed the sea gulls and look at the pelicans perching on the stands......

The kids usually bring along their scooter and have a race. Then they play lots of games like "Spider web", "Crocodile" and "Catching" in the playground. The youngest who is 2 loves to play the swing and the slides.

2. Books Glorious Books

Fortunately for all of us, the library is virtually next door. Just 5 minutes walk and we can spend hours in fantasy through reading wonderful books.

3. Scenic times

The other day, I brought the kids on the public bus and had a wonderful time looking at the lovely and wonderful scenes of beautiful Adelaide.

More Great Holiday Ideas

4. Entertain your kids when the sun goes down with a little night-time theatre. Make shadow puppets from stiff cardboard glued on sticks.

5. Hold a story writing competition or help younger children write and illustrate a story.

6. Bake yummy muffins with your kids. Encourage them to do as much of the baking process as they can. Then get them to be creative with the decorations too.

7. Get creative with playdough. Guaranteed to give hours of fun - though be prepared to clear up the mess!

8. Throw a themed party mid - holidays to catch up with friends. Think : Hawaiian, with leis and cocktail umbrellas or a safari with passport invitations. Let the kids help out with thinking up ways to decorate the place, creating the cards and games that go with the theme. And of course HAVE FUN!

9. Collect interesting things on walks, such as leaves and flowers and make a project out of it on a piece of cardboard.

10. Make a scrapbook or wonderful cards with those interesting finds. Other ideas for the scrapbook could be about the holidays, the themed party, artwork made by your kids or post cards and greeting cards received etc. Remember to reuse the wrapping paper, bows and ribbons etc to add zest to your scrapbook!

11. Give your kids paper and crayons and show them how to trace textures from surfaces. See how many they can trace around the house.

12. Act out a play. Narrate your kids' favorite book while they invent the actions to go along with it.

13. Explore your local wildlife park or the zoo to see the animals, birds and reptiles.

14. Share a few retro games from your own childhood, such as hopscotch or red rover, so the kids give them a whirl.

15. Teach your kids one or two new card games, even if they're simple as "Go Fish".

16. Build sandcastles at the beach. It's a nice way to spend the early morning or late afternoon.

17. Set up a game of hide and seek. It's lots of fun for the little ones.

18. Book a tennis court and have a hit. Don't worry about being too serious, the exercise and hand-eye skills are invaluable.

19. Go to the local cycleway/bike track and go riding or rollerblading. It's a great way to get out in the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine.

20. Head to the cinema. Watching a movie over the holidays is a guaranteed good time.

21. Design your own personalised calender for the New Year, stick on photos or your kids' drawings. Get input from your kids and make it to a FUN joint project for the whole family.

22. Try ten-pin bowling. It's a fun day out that all ages can enjoy.

23. Make a bowl of popcorn and rent your favorite film from childhood - they've probably never heard of E.T.!

24. Have a tournament with board games. Monopoly, Hungry Hippos, Operation or Ludo make great wet weather FUN.

Hope these 2 dozen ideas are helpful to keep the boredom away and your hour FUN filled :)

Play date perfection

2008-11-12T07:48:00.015+08:00

Play dates can be more than just fun and games (If you planned it well)!

First, let's look at the advantages of having play dates.

Watch and Learn
As your child observes you portioning out cookies and crayons, he'll pick up important lessons on sharing

Get hands on
First-hand experiences of sharing and interacting with other kids is one of the fastest ways of teaching children social skills.

Happy Kids
Play time helps to improve a child's emotional development as such a loss of such time Can mean an increase in stress and anxiety

Speak Up
Putting kids together is a great way to give verbal skills a boost. Children naturally want to communicate with one another, and play dates allow them to figure out how to get started.

15 Tips to a successful Play Date

1. Make Connections
Get to know the parents of your child's classmates or schoolmates. Volunteer at preschool activities or set up carpools. Once you're on good terms with other parents, chances to arrange play dates will come thick and fast.

2. Plus One
Initially, young children and parents alike might not be comfortable with the idea of solo play dates. Invite the other parent or caregiver along for a cup of tea and a get-to-know-you-better session while the kids are at play.

3. Fun Size
Keep play dates restricted to one or two other children each time. When too many are present, children can get distracted, overwhelmed or withdrawn.

4. Too much, too many
Play dates are great when they're fun for kids. Too many play dates however, can feel like work for children especially since they're encouraged to be on their best behaviour every time. If your child attends preschool, play dates once a week are a good way to start.

5. Time it right
To ensure maximum enjoyment at play dates, avoid scheduling them at meal or nap times. Keep play dates short - one hour each time for first dates or two at the most for regular pals. don't forget to pencil in breaks for snake time or unwinding.

6. Take the lead
Let junior decide who he wants to invite. Suggest his favourite playmates at preschool. Explain that it's important to make his friends feel welcome and ask him which activities he thinks they might enjoy. Boost his sense of importance by letting him answer the door or bring out the snacks. When your child feels that he's in charge, he'll welcome the chance to host play dates.

7. Go low tech
Banning the TV ans the computer might be akin to cutting off kids' life line but don't shy away from doing it. Play dates are all about communication and this won't happen when kids are glued to the screen. Let your child and his guest know about this rule in advance.

8. Stash it
Play dates might be all about nurturing good social skills but kids will be kids, especially when it comes to prized possessions. To prevent potential fall-outs, keep favourite toys out of sight and set out collaborative options such as building blocks, toy soldiers or dolls instead.

9. Bite in

Does your child's guest have food allergies or is she picky about certain types of food? Knowing your guest's tastes ahead of time can go a long way towards a seamless snack time.

10. Free Stylin!

Let kids get creative instead of off-the-shelf options, set out crayons and finger paint, plasticine etc. You might just be surprised at how much fun children get out of free-form and open ended activities such as these.

11. Side by side
Don't despair if your preschooler isn't playing with his friend. Younger children often enjoy simply playing in the company of a friend, even in different rooms at times. Known as "parallel play", this form of interaction often blossoms into full blown interaction with time.

12. Be a cheerleader
Kids like to know that they're doing well, even when they're playing with a friend. Make a conscious effort to praise your child (and his friend!) when they do something right and you'll minimise the likelihood of negative behaviour rearing its head during the date.

13. Step in

Don't jump in at every minor disagreement. Allow kids to work things out among themselves. When you have to intervene, do so kindly but firmly. If things are getting too heated, separate the children for a short period of time.

14. Clean-up crew
Let kids know that they are responsible for picking up after themselves and putting play equipment back in its place before calling it a day. Simple reminders with an incentive attached will often do the trick. Such as, "As soon as you guys pick up your toys you can have cupcakes for tea time!", should do the work.

15. Be realistic
As much as play dates are supposed to be about fun, just 15 minutes of harmonious play is a big accomplishment when it comes to preschoolers. Don't beat yourself up if squabbles, spilt milk and crumbled cake arise - Its really part of the fun.

The Upside of Failure - lesson for kids who don't make the cut

2008-10-13T23:15:00.009+08:00

Every child wants to succeed (And every parent would want his/her child to succeed even more!) Ace the quiz, win the playoffs, be the first in class.... the list goes on. However, in reality, whenever we are involved in competitive acitivies, theres always someone who wins and many others who lose.

We can't protect our children from experiencing defeat, but when it happens, we can teach them how to deal with it. Failure may disappoint and hurt a child, but it shouldn't devastate him. (Remember : Don't add salt to the wound by adding your dissapointment onto to your child)

It is important for a parent to put such moments in prespective. Here are some comforting words and enlighteniing lessons to pass along.

1. Its frustrating to lose, but don't beat yourself up about it. - Its Ok to be human. The truth is, nobody is perfect at everything they do.

2. Very successful people fail sometimes - some of them fail alot. Thomas Edison made 3000 attempts before creating a light bulb that worked! Do we call Edison a failure? No way...... He proved to be a brilliant inventor :)

3. Every failure can teach us something important. If you don't make the cut for a team, (Be it soccer, the band, drama etc.) find out what needs to be improved and act on it, instead of sulking or giving up your dream.

4.In every negative there is a positive. Find the positive! Ask yourself, What did I do well? What am I best at in this activity? What skills did I pick up, and how can I use them in the future?

5. Even though you fail at something, you are not a failure. You're still a good person. What do you call a major league baseball player who fails to get a hit seven out of 10 times at bat? Answer: an All-Star. It means that he's a .300 hitter and probably one of the best in baseball.

6. We can succeed only if we're willing to take risks and work hard. If you want to win the race, you have to enter the race and train to be a good runner. Winners don't have a guarantee that they will win every race, but the chance that they will makes it worth it.

7. The only people who never experience failure are those who give up. Star quarterback Tom Brady was a backup player during his first three years of college. He became so frustrated that he almost quit the team. Of course, he didn't, and he eventually become starting quaterback in his last year - and was drafted by New England Patriots after graduation. His team won 3 Super Bowls, and Tom was selected Most Valuable Player in 2 of the games. What would have happened if he had quit?

Pregnancy massage

2008-10-10T12:40:00.014+08:00

During my 4 pregnancies I had experienced different levels of discomfort due to the increased weight, shifting posture and changing hormone levels. I was not fortunate to learn about pregnancy massage techniques available then.

I came across this wonderful site that provides Pregnancy Massage DVD. A massage is always welcome whenever one is tired and during pregnancy such massages allow pregnant moms to unwind during this time. It can also alleviate the resulting discomfort and other pregnancy-related symptoms. And, better yet, nurturing the mother-to-be also nurtures the new life growing within.

Have a quick look at this video for a demo.

Pregnancy Massage Video
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Massage Videos | Pregnancy Massage

For those who are interested in getting a copy of the DVD, here are the contact details :

Contact Info –Nurturing Pregnancy Massage Techniques I (2 Hrs. 17 Mins.) can be ordered for $54.95, and Nurturing Pregnancy Massage Techniques II (1 Hr. 7 Mins.), can be ordered for 49.95, plus shipping. Order by calling 1-800-414-2434 or visiting www.VideoShelf.com.
The complete set can be purchased for $84.00, at a savings of 20%

What can you do about - Burns and Scalds

2008-09-20T21:02:00.010+08:00

Burns and scalds are injuries to the tissues of the body caused by heat, electricity, cold, chemicals or radiation. A scald is a burn by 'wet heat' e.g. hot liquids, steam.

The depth of burns can be classified as :

Superficial burns - Only the outer layer of the skin is damaged. The skin feels hot and is red and painful with no blisters. For example, mild sunburn or a scald caused by a splash of hot tea.

Partial - thickness burns- The skin is red and very painful. It is associated with swelling and blisters.

Full - thickness burns - All layers of the skin are damaged. The skin looks pale, leathery or charred. It is painless because the nerves are damaged. Always seek Emergency medical attention immediately for such burns.

What you can do

# Immediately wash the burnt area under cold, running water for about 10 minutes or immerse the burnt area in a bucket of cold water. This is to lower the temperature of the skin and decrease the injury caused by the burn or scald.

# Carefully remove any clothing (unless it is stuck to the burn) or accessories from the burnt area before any swelling develops.

# After cooling the burnt area, pat dry with a clean cloth.

# Cover the area with a clean or sterile dressing which will not stick to the burn such as food-wrap film. There are many appropriate dressing available at the pharmacy.

# Do not break a blister as germs may enter and cause infection. If a blister breaks on its own, do not remove the skin; wipe the fluid off before covering the area with a dry, non-adherent dressing.

When to see your doctor

See your family doctor when:

1. You need help with the dressing

2. The burn gets infected and results in fever, redness, swelling, increasing pain and pus formation

When it is an Emergency

Go to the Emergency Department:

1. It is a full-thickness burn or a large partial-thickness burn

2. The burn is in the mouth or throat, at the eyes, ears or genital area, or involves an entire finger or hand.

3. The burn is caused by a chemical substance

4. The burn is caused by electricity or lightning

5. The burnt area is of a larger area than a person's hand.

What can you do about - Backache

2008-09-12T21:07:00.010+08:00

For today lets look at backache. Backache is pain in the back occurring commonly at the neck or lower back.

Backache can be caused by

* Poor posture
* prolonged sitting, standing or bending
* lifting heavy loads incorrectly
* vigorous jerking or twisting of the trunk ( e.g during a slip or fall)
* pregnancy or mensuration

What you can do to -

1. Don't worry, most backaches due to back strain go away on their own within a few days

2. Apply a hot compress on the aching area for about 30 minutes once or twice a day

3. Gently message the aching area

4. Take painkillers such as paracetamol if necessary

5. Avoid activities that are likely to strain your back, e.g bending over

Ways to prevent backache

* Keep your trunk upright when walking or sitting
- when standing for long period, alternately rest your body
weight on one leg

- When sitting, place a cushion in the hollow of your back

* Sleeping on a firm mattress and avoid sleeping face down

* doing stretching exercises if you have to stand or sit for long
periods

* Bending with your hips and knees, not with your back when you
want to lift heavy loads: hold the loads close to your body as
you straighten your knee to raise the load

* Exercise regularly

* Doing warm - ups before exercise

When to see your doctor

See your family doctor when you have :

1. pain that does not go away with rest and with usual
pain relieving medicine such as paracetamol.

2. Pain associated with urinary symptoms.

When is it an Emergency?

Go to the Emergency Department when

* The pain comes after a fall or blow to the spine

* The pain is severe ans associated with muscle weakness, muscle
spasms or difficulty in controlling bladder and bowel movements

* You have severe pain that travels down the back of your leg

* You have pain that worsens in spite of treatment by your family
doctor

* You have low back pain associated with bloody urine

* The back pain is associated with other pains, such as abdominal
pain

Fancy Dress Costumes

2008-09-07T11:21:00.008+08:00

Yesterday my niece took part in a fancy dress costume competition held at the community centre near her place. It is so sweet to see cute little boys and girls dressed up as pirates, spaceman, fairies, princess and many more.

Of course, heroes such as Batman and Superman were there too. One little boy dressed as a clown. I wonder whether he was trying to imitate the "Joker".

It is generally easier to dress up a toddler or young kids. For those who are teens or even adults, trying to find costumes is not such an easy task. Have you ever wanted to dress up your pet in a cute little costume?

I was checking through the net and came across this wonderful site, buycosumes.com, which offer a large variety of themed costumes designed for infants, children, adults and pets at very competitive prices.

With Halloween round the corner, most parents would have started to prepare the costumes for their kids. For those of us, who are not too handy with sewing, buycostumes.com has a special feature for Halloween.

Would you child like to dress up as one of the Pokemons or your toddler as a cute little lion? So many different costumes from the many TV show that are available. Starwars, Batman, Indiana Jones, Transformers, Power Rangers, Pokemon, Disney Pixar and the list goes on and on.

Don't worry, they have not left out the "Girls". Whether you have a infant, toddler, preschooler, teen or even adult, a wide variety of costumes are available for them too. Your toddler can be a cute little monkey, or any other "plush" animal. For your older children, you can choose from the lovely cosumes from Starwars, barbie, Disney fairies, High School Musical etc.

Even simple kids costumes could have an added zest through good use of accessories. Whether you are looking for blood and gore, guns and lasers, boots and shoes, fangs, teeth, cape or coats, jewelery, makeup or mask or any other accessory that you would need, there is such a wide variety available at buycostumes.com

If you are planning to have a themed party, do check out the site for the many different party supplies as well as decoration and props available.

What can you do about common ailments

2008-09-05T10:14:00.008+08:00

As a parent, at one time or another, we are likely to experience or notice our loved our experiencing common symptoms such as aches, runny nose or vomiting. In most cases, ones body can overcome the symptoms by applying simple self-care. However, at times, professional care is needed. Read the signs that your body gives you when you or your loved one is sick and decide whether you can use over- the counter medicines or need to see the doctor.

For the next few Fridays, I will touch on common ailments that affect us explaining about the symptoms, what to do for each ailments, how to prevent it, when to see the doctor and when it is an emergency. The information I am sharing is from a booklet from Health Promotion Board, Singapore. I have found the information very useful and would like to share it with my friends.

For today, lets look at : Abdominal Pain / Indigestion

Abdominal pain or indigestion can be due to

* Excessive acid in the stomach due to drinking, smoking, overeating and mental stress

* irritations caused by taking spicy food or medicines such as aspirin

* infection (bacterial or viral).

Symptom you should watch out for are:

* stomach discomfort or pain
*loss of appetite or unbearable hunger
*bloating and burping
*nausea and / or vomiting.

What you can do

* Avoid solid food on the first day of attack. Eat bland food such as porridge and bread.

* Take antacids or milk to ease the discomfort. Avoid coffee and alcohol.

* Rest and avoid stressful situations.

You can prevent indigestion by:

1. Taking you meals regularly

2. Not overeating

3. Quitting or cutting down on drinking alcohol or coffee and cigarette smoking

4. managing mental stress.

When to see your doctor

See your family doctor when:

* The symptoms occur regularly
* There is pain or vomiting that lasts more than a few hours
* There is significant loss or weight.

When it is an emergency

Go to the Emergency Department when:

* The symptoms do not subside in spite of medication given by your family doctor

* The symptoms are associated with sweating, breathlessness or nausea

* Vomiting does not subside

* Stools are bloody or black in colour

* There is blood in the vomitus

Drug Rehab Program

2008-08-31T10:05:00.011+08:00

Bringing up children to be morally good and as a asset to the society is not an easy job. Every parent would want only what is best for their child. However, with so many distractions and widely available sources of entertainment nowadays, the job does not get any simpler.

One of my major fears with regard to my children is that they would meet up with the wrong peer group and thus be influenced into experimenting with drugs and alcohols and such.

A recent drama program touched on how some students in the secondary school fall into wrong company and end up as drug addicts. Such addiction causes many problems as the teen continues to get further tangled in the web leading to petty theft, gang fights and so on.

Fortunately there are institutions that caters to residential drug rehab, alcohol rehab and extended care facility for adults suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, depression, and other co-occurring disorders.

Cliffside Malibu is located in Los Angeles County north of Zuma Beach. It is a drug treatment center where drug treatment incorporates a variety of clinical components to create a comprehensive and effective addiction treatment program. The components of alcohol and drug rehab include detox, individual therapy, group therapy, depression treatment, and alternative medicine.

At Malibu, private and secluded housing is provided with Oceanside views. Exciting outdoor activities such as horseback riding, surfing and hiking are also arranged and encouraged for the residents to take part and enjoy.

Malibu has incorporated state of the art treatment methods to ensure the maximum recovery of the drug addicts and alcoholics. Furthermore, talented acupuncturists, herbologists, massage therapists and holistic medicine practitioners are also employed for the benefits of the residents in their addiction treatment.

Meticulous selection is made with regards to the doctors, nurses, therapists, personal trainers, massage therapists, chefs and residential advisers. This ensures that only the Best Staff are available for the many kinds of addiction treatments.

There are many other advantages in choosing Malibu for Drug Rehab.
Firstly, they have free counselling available 24 hours a day to help you in your times of need. Luxurious and comfortable accommodations with lots of wonderful recreational activities and Spa treatments such as facials and manicure/pedicures are made available for the residents.

The motto of Malibu is Individual Treatment or Individual Addictions. As such each patient is offered an individual drug rehabilitation plan which maximizes comfort as well as the potential for each individual's success.

Squash those Tantrums while keeping a Cool head

2008-08-25T08:47:00.008+08:00

So why do kids throw tantrums?

Almost every parent would have experienced a "Why doesn't the ground open up and swallow me" kind of situation because of your child's Tantrum!

Unsightly as they might be, tantrums are a normal part of development. For those parents who have escaped from such events so far be forewarned.

Studies show that both boys and girls get them just as frequently and even the most mild tempered child have the occasional tantrum, so don't despair when the tempers kick in.

The two most common reasons are frustration and inability to communicate.

Frustration - Young children are still trying to master their own world. When they experience difficulty accomplishing the task at hand, very often the only way they know how to express themselves is with, you guessed it, a tantrum.

Communication - Children at this age often know more than they can express. Not being able to communicate their needs can be extremely trying and lead to the outbreak of a tantrum.

Ways to Avoid Tantrums

Reward positive behaviour - Many a time a child throws a tantrum as she seeks and wants your attention. To the child, it does not matter whether it is positive or negative, just so as she is able to catch your attention she will continue to scream, whine, cry etc. One way to nip this problem at the bud,is to catch your child when she is doing the right thing and to reward her with your full attention.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Let your children have control when it comes to making smaller decisions. They're often working out their sense of independence and having a choice helps stave off tantrums later. Let junior choose between the blue and green jacket or allow him to choose one item during trips to the supermarket.

Out of sight, out of mind -Keep bones of contention such as an older sibling's fragile plaything or the candy jar out of sight. If your child can't see it, she is less likely to remember it's there.

Change the environment - When frustration or the lure of an object he can't have gets too strong, take your child outside or simply move to another room.

Sweet Success - Pre-empt unnecessary frustration by choosing age-appropriate tasks and toys. Begin with simpler ones and then move on to more challenging options.

Draw the line - Children who are hungry, tired or stressed are that much more likely to throw tantrums. Postpone that shopping trip or errand till a better time whenever possible.

Teach communication skills - Teach your toddlers simple signs to express themselves such as "I want", "more" or "tired" so that you, the parent can recognise their need and met them thus avoiding or reducing the chance for tantrums. Let kids know they can tell you what their needs are and encourage them to express them clearly.

Help older children practise coping skills - This will not only reduce the incidence of tantrums thrown but it's also empowering. Children will get a chance to decide how they will be treated as a result of their decisions. Say "You have another five minutes of TV time before bed. This is a chance for you to show me how grown up and reasonable you can be, okay?"

Dos and Don'ts when a tantrum occurs

DON"T

Avoid hitting and spanking - Using physical force will only send the message that force and physical assault is an acceptable means of getting things done. Take a deep breath and if talking doesn't work, wait for the storm to blow over.

Never reward a tantrum. Even if your child has calmed down, don't cave in to his demands for the plaything or treat that triggered the tantrum. Doing this will only reinforce the message that the tantrum was effective. Instead, praise your child for calming down.

Dos

Moving on. IF your child is in danger of hurting himself, other people or the property around him, take to a quiet, safe place where he can calm down.

Ignorance can be bliss. Continue with the activity at hand. Disregard his behaviour but make sure your child is within sight so you can ensure his safety. Leaving your little one entirely alone could also make him feel as if he's abandoned. So stay within his range of sight.

Quiet time. Have your child go to a room, or chair or a corner that is away from others and whatever ongoing activity. This is a surprisingly powerful tool that doesn't rely on physical punishment.

Provide reassurance. Let junior know that you still love him and give him a hug. (After he has calmed down and is no longer throwing a tantrum). This can go a long way towards boosting your child's self-worth, especially when he might be feeling vulnerable after the display of misbehaviour.

Hip maternity clothes for stylish moms-to-be

2008-08-16T21:21:00.009+08:00

During my first three pregnancies I didn't need to wear Maternity wear until my last few weeks. Only for my last daughter, I put on quite some weight and had a chance to wear lots of lovely maternity clothes.

After many years, my brother-in-law's wife, Jamila is pregnant again. I'm very pleased for her and hope she will have a wonderful baby and that her pregnancy would be smooth as she is already in her late 30's and there are chances of complication.

Last week, I went out shopping with her for maternity dresses. There are so many styles and designs available nowadays that it took her about 4 hours to decide on a variety of tops, pants and dresses .

However, for those who love to shop for maternity close but would not want to spend the time and effort of going to many different shops, online shopping is another alternative.

Belly dance maternity is an online shop that has many stylish maternity dresses. There is a wide range of tops, bottoms, dresses, nursing, lingerie and active wear as well as Juicy Couture Maternity clothes etc.

Often the dad to be is forgotten. You could gift the father with stylish diaper bags, books about newborns etc.

What I really loved about Belly Dance Maternity is the availability of stylish maternity swimwear and bathing suits. There are many different and wonderful designs and styles available. For active swimmers such as Jamila this would make a wonderful gift.

Boost your child's Self Esteem

2008-08-01T08:39:00.011+08:00

Self-esteem is about how one feels about oneself, and can either be positive or negative.

Self-esteem in young children essentially refers to the degree to which they expect to be accepted and valued by their peers and the significant adults such as their parents and teachers.

Children with positive, healthy self-esteem feel that the people who are important to them accept and care about them. Such children are also able to recognise and accept their own strengths and weaknesses. On the other hand, children with negative self-esteem feel neglected and unappreciated, and are much less confident, if at all.

Why is Self-esteem important?

How we feel about and define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviours. Thus, it is important that we always feel confident and positive about ourselves.

In some cases, low self-esteem can be a symptom of a mental health disorder or emotional disturbance. Experts have also observed and believed that low self-esteem is the underlying cause of many of society's problem today.

A child's self-esteem can affect how he relates to other people. As such, children who feel good about themselves tend to develop positive relationship with others.

As a child grow older and starts to attend school, his self-esteem can have an impact on his academic success too. If he thinks positively of himself ( rather than always thinking he can't do things right) he is more likely to accept setbacks and to preserve, thus do well academically,

Moreover, a child's creativity can also be influenced by his self-esteem. This is because low self-esteemed children are less likely to take the risk involved in being creative than children who have positive self-perceptions.

How can you Boost your child's Self-Esteem?

From young, a child will reach different milestones and experience a sense of accomplishment that bolster self-esteem e.g. learning to roll over or to stand up successfully after repeated failures.

He will at the same time create a self-concept based on interactions with other people. Hence, parental involvement is key to helping him form healthy self-perceptions.

Here are some Tips for Boosting your child's Self-Esteem:

1. Praise Generously, Appropriately and Honestly

Children are very sensitive to parent's words. Constantly look for situations in which your child is doing good jobs, or demonstrate talents or positive character traits, and praise him accordingly. But remember to praise for effort and completion, rather than outcome. Praise honestly too - kids can tell whether something is plain flattery, or sincerely from the heart.

2. Teach Positive Self-Statements
You need to identify your child's incorrect beliefs about himself, then help him set more accurate and realistic standards about himself. For example, if he is struggling with science and you hear him say "I cannot do science, I'm a lousy student", correct him by saying to him "You are a good student and you are doing great in school. Science is just one of the subjects you need to spend more time on."

3. Be Spontaneous and Affectionate

There is no such thing as a shy parent! Parents' love is crucial to children's self-esteem. Hug your child often. Tell him you are proud of him. Leave loving messages on the fridge door, in the phone recorder, or in his lunch box.

4. Display your sense of humour!

Teach your child that life certainly does not always have to be serious; some teasing can be fun too. Show him that you can laugh at yourself for little mistakes and blunders you make.

5. Have Reasonable Expectations

Like you, your child is not perfect! Let him know you accept him for who he is, flaws and all. He will then feel secure and learn to accept his own strength and weaknesses, which in turn enhances his self-esteem.

As is always the rule - and challenge - of good parenting, remember that you need to be your child's role model. Do not be too harsh on yourself or be unrealistic about your abilities and limitations. Be optimistic and nurture your own positive self-esteem instead, so your child can mirror you correctly.

Young Children and Feeding and Eating Disorders

2008-07-21T22:46:00.012+08:00

Children with eating disorders are characterised as having eating and feeding disturbances in their eating behaviour. In young children, this includes Pica, Rumination Disorder and Feeding and Eating of infancy or Early childhood. Other disorders such as Bulima Nervosa and Anorexia Nervosa would only develop in older children.

Pica
A child with this disorder can be described as having a persistent consumption of non-nutritive substance such as dirt, hair, bugs, pebbles, etc. Such a behaviour is developmentally inappropriate. However, there should be no aversion to food.

The onset is usually between 12 and 24 months of age, with remission during childhood. Such a disorder occurs more in children that lack or have little adult supervision, or are mentally retarded.

Rumination Disorder
This disorder is much more common in children than in adults. It has the characteristic of repeated regurgitation of partially digested food, which is then chewed, spat out, and swallowed without having any nausea and retching.

This disorder can be potentially fatal if the child becomes malnourished, loses excess weight, or does not gain enough weight. Its onset is between three to 12 months of age. Such behaviour is not due to any medical condition, such as gastrointestinal illness and esophageal reflux, nor is it a result of mental disorders.

Feeding Disorders of Infancy or Early Childhood

The essential characteristic of this disorder is the persistent failure to eat adequately, which causes either weight loss, or difficulties in gaining weight. As with the Rumination Disorder, this disorder is not a result of any medical causes or mental disorders. It has to occur for at least one month.

Children require sufficient nutrients for efficient growth of their bodies and brains. In other words, survival needs are the most important for growing children.

Therefore, when a child misses out on this important milestone, it could cause cognitive problems (such as slow brain growth, which in turn causes slow development), and health problems due to irregular consumption of food or inappropriate items and deficiency in important minerals.

In the emotional aspect, if the child is not able to meet his basic needs, he may experience distress which may in turn cause stress, anxiety or other psychological or behavioural problems later.

What Parents Can Do

* Monitor the child's consumption of food.

* Avoid using force or pressure on the child, which may cause more damage.

* Take the child for professional assesment and consultation if the problem persists and he does not improve his condition with time.

* If the child appears to be weak, sick or in danger, take him immediately to seek medical attention.

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Do check out my other post on children and healthy eating habits.

10 food safety tips for our young ones

Fast Food at Home

Encouraging Healthy Eating Habits for Children

10 food safety tips for our young ones

2008-07-16T21:05:00.008+08:00

When the symptoms of food poisoning come a rumbling, they can range from discomfort to downright debilitating, especially when those spasms are racking the little ones. Share these 10 easy-to-swallow food safety tips with your kids now. They'll thank you for it.

Tip 1 - This is the way I wash my hands
Do get your kids to wash their hands thoroughly with soaps before eating, after touching pets, or after a trip to the bathroom. Hands are one of the most common medium for breeding micro-organisms. The bacteria then get transferred to food. If ingested, harmful germs can act up. Sometimes within hours. No-rinse, fuss free sanitising gels are also a great alternative for children on the go.

Tip 2 - Close those water bottles
Teach your child to keep their water bottles closed after drinking. This will prevent contaminants from entering their drinking water. Liquid-borne micro-organisms are just as capable of causing food poisoning.

Tip 3 - Check expiry dates
Always check expiry dates. Kids need to know this, especially when it comes to produce such as milk and other dairy products; these items are more likely to turn bad faster, especially once the packaging has been opened.

Tip 4 - Wash
Encourage children to wash fruits and vegetables before packing them into lunch boxes. Show them how they can soak vegetables in clean tap water for 15 minutes to remove unwanted dirt. This will do the job without the need for fancy washes or detergents. Trim bruised portions to remove harmful bacteria present in these area.

Tip 5 - Good hygiene
When it comes to eating in school, let your kids know that it's important to buy only from canteen vendors who have clean and tidy stalls, and who are well-groomed and properly attired. Food handlers who practice good hygiene and maintain a clean environment reduce the risk of food contamination.

Tip 6 - Out with that!
When in doubt, throw it out. It's never a good idea to consume food that might be spoiled. Reheating dubious food may not always do the job either. The toxins of some bacteria won't get destroyed even during the reheating process. Toss out cans that are rusty, bulging or dented and reject products that look or smell bad.

Tip 7 - Microwave-safe
Practise microwave-safe food habits. Teach kids not to microwave with containers that are not specially made for microwave use. Minute particles form the plastic can migrate to food at high temperatures which may lead to health complications. Opt for microwave-safe glassware instead.

Tip 8 - Avoidance
It's best to avoid some food altogether. Food poisoning can be especially severe for young children so take extra care. Avoid raw or rare meat, raw or undercooked shellfish, eggs, unpasteurised milk and dairy products, as well as uncooked deli meats.

Tip 9 - Safe Temperature
Keep food at a "safe" temperature. Food is most easily contaminated between 5 degree Celsius and 60 degree Celsius. Keep hot food hot and cold food cold to prevent bacteria from multiplying. Purchase insulated food bags and a thermos. These are great for kids to store lunch.

Tip 10 - Cool it is
When it comes to chilling out, teach kids to keep an eye out for self-service refrigerators that drinks and desserts are stored. These should be cold enough so that there is no condensation on the food or food packets. Cold food must be kept cold to prevent harmful bacteria form multiplying so give those that are lukewarm a miss.

Protecting Your Baby

2008-07-09T23:30:00.011+08:00

Bringing home your newborn baby, check out this great list of safety measures and Baby Safety Checklist. I came across this Checklist from GranMamma, who is the webmaster at the Baby Names Box - http://www.babynamebox.com

Baby Safety Checklist incorporates safety measures with General Safety Tips, Protecting your kids rooms, Keeping the bathroom safe, safety measures for the kitchen as well as the yard.

When bringing home your new baby, there are so many things to do in order to get ready. Making your home a safe haven for your new little one is one of the most important things you will do to get ready. Each room contains its own set of dangers. Below is a baby safety checklist to ensure that every room in your house is baby friendly.

General Safety Tips:

___ Place child-resistant covers on all electrical outlets.
___ Install safety gates at the top and bottom of the stairs.
___ Don't use baby walkers because they have been known to have caused serious injuries to babies. Use stationary exercisers instead.
___ Keep all dangerous chemicals out of the reach of children.
___ Shorten curtain and blind cords.
___ Install smoke detectors on each floor of your home, especially near sleeping areas. * Be sure to change the batteries each year.
___ Keep all small objects away from young children. (This includes tiny toys and balloons.)
___ Use corner bumpers on furniture and fireplace-hearth edges.
___ Know the names of all plants in case a child eats one of them.
___ Be sure that furnaces, fireplaces, wood-burning stoves, space heaters, and all gas appliances are vented properly.
___ Place screened barriers around fireplaces, radiators, and portable space heaters.
___ Keep firearms and ammunition safely locked away.
___ Secure unsteady furnishings.
___ Check your house for lead and asbestos. If you detect either of these substances, contact a professional. Any house built before 1978 is at risk for lead paint.

Protect your kids rooms:

___ Ensure that your crib meets national safety standards.
___ Place guards on windows and stops on all doors.
___ Make sure your baby's crib is sturdy and has no loose or missing hardware.
___ Make sure that the mattress fits snugly.
___ Be sure the crib sheet fits snugly.
___ Never put stuffed animals or heavy blankets in the crib with your infant.
___ Never leave your baby unattended on the changing table.
___ Remove mobiles and other hanging toys from the crib as soon as your child can reach up and touch them.
___ Place infants under one year of age on their backs to sleep. Mattress should be firm and flat with no soft bedding underneath. * Following this advice will reduce the risk of suffocation and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
___ Place night-lights at least three feet away from the crib, bedding, and draperies to prevent fires.
___ Check age labels for appropriate toys.

Keep the bathroom safe:

___ Put a lock on the medicine cabinet.
___ Lower the household water temperature. (It should be set at 120 degrees F or below to avoid burning your baby)
___ Always test the water first before bathing a child.
___ Never leave your child alone in the bathtub or near any water.
___ Secure toilet lids. Many young children are fascinated by putting objects inside.
___ Make sure that bathtubs and showers aren't slippery.
___ Install ground-fault circuit interrupters on outlets near sings and bathtubs.

For the Kitchen:

___ Keep all knives, cleaning supplies, and plastic bags out of children's reach.
___ If stove knobs are easily accessible to children, use protective covers to prevent kids from turning them.
___ Never leave your baby alone in a highchair. Always use all safety straps. ___ Replace any frayed cords and wires.
___ Keep chairs and step stools away from counters and the stove.
___ Remove all household cleaners from the bottom cabinets or put them in a cabinet that is out of your baby's reach.

In the Yard:

___ Store tools, garden, lawn-equipment, and supplies in a locked closet or shed.
___ Don't use a power mower when young children are around.
___ Don't allow children to play on a treated lawn for at least 48 hours following an application of a fertilizer or pesticide.
___ Know the types of trees and plant life on the property in case children ingest berries, leaves, or other plant life.
___ If you have a swimming pool, install a fence that separates the house from the pool. ( Make sure that the gate is childproof)

This list is a general guide. For more in-depth information go to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission at www.cpsc.gov.

Fast Food at Home

2008-06-26T01:23:00.006+08:00

Are you in a mad rush and need to cook dinner in a hurry. Check out these great tips by Nicole Dean on how to make "Fast Food". Don't worry, they are not the "Mac" type of fast food but nutritious yet yummy food that is good to eat and fast to cook!

Kids have to eat. Three meals a day, every day. All moms know how important it is to have an arsenal of quick meals handy. You never know when you'll have to put healthy food on the table in a hurry, or when you need ideas so dad can help.

Dunk It

Lucky for us, kids love dip. Cut some fresh cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, broccoli, celery, and bell peppers and serve them with ranch dressing. Even finicky veggie-haters will eat their veggies with dressing on them.

Saved by a Sandwich

Start with two waffles, an English muffin, bagel, croissant, or a hotdog, hoagie or hamburger bun. Simply add jam, peanut butter, fruit slices, meat, hummus, veggies, eggs, or cheese. The possibilities are endless.

Oodles of Noodles

If you've got noodles, you can make a meal. Add some salad dressing and some meat, garbanzo beans and veggies and you've got pasta salad. Or, start with noodles and add a little butter and parmesan cheese to make buttered noodles. And, there's always the classic standby - add pasta sauce and a dollop of cottage cheese onto noodles and you just made lasagna.

Wrap it Up

If you've got tortillas and leftovers, you've got a wonderful meal. Warm up your leftovers and wrap them up in a tortilla with some cheese. Voila! Leftovers Burrito.

Spuds from Heaven

Potatoes are a meal waiting to happen. Microwave a potato, pile on cheese of any sort (cheddar, mozzarella, cottage cheese) and some meat, veggies, or even salsa or sunflower seeds, and you have a delicious dinner.

Soup Warms the Soul

Fill a pan with broth and veggies. Then, just throw in whatever you have in the house, meat or beans, leftovers, a can of diced tomatoes, noodles or rice, and spices. You just made soup in minutes.

Turn the Day Upside Down

You can have breakfast any time. Cereal, eggs & bacon, waffles, or pancakes. Breakfast is always better at night.
Next time you're in a position to make a meal in a hurry, refer back to this list and presto - you'll have dinner on the table in minutes.

Nicole Dean is the mom behind http://www.ShowKidstheFun.com, a website that helps address the question "How do I communicate with my children?" and http://www.ShowMomTheMoney.com, a resource that takes work at home moms by the hand and helps them to achieve success.

Parents can be a Learning Guide.

2008-06-19T16:53:00.005+08:00

Many a time a parent will comment on his child's school work without thought to how he will receive it and react to it. Nowadays, school work is so daunting for a young child, so you can keep him motivated or not just by the things you say.

FIVE PHRASES TO KILL YOUR CHILD'S INTEREST IN LEARNING.

1. "You should be able to do that because it's easy."
Simple addition may be easy from your point of view, but it's probably not that easy for your five-year old. Your suggestion reduces his interest in learning even further, by making him feel stupid, and he gives up altogether.

2. "You just need to try harder."Don't make the mistake of assuming that your child's lack of interest in learning is due to lack of effort. You have to be very confident before making that assertion. In many instances, a child's slump in interest in his school work arises because he struggles with new concepts despite all his efforts, not because he does not try.

3. "You should be more interested in school work."The chances are that he would like to be more interested. Giving him a stern admonition that he should have a different attitude is unlikely to bring about the change in interest that you seek.

4. "I don't know why you don't like this because I loved it when I was in school."
Your child is a unique individual with his own interest, likes and dislikes. Although you try to stimulate his enthusiasm by pointing out how enthusiastic you were at his age, this could have the opposite effect.

5. "I'm so disappointed that you aren't first in class."In every class, only one child can come out tops. By all means have high educational aspirations for your child, but do not make him feel a failure because he missed first place. If he is raised to believe that anything less than the top of the class is perceived negatively, he may lose interest very early on.

FIVE PHRASES TO GIVE THAT ADDED "OOMPH" TO LEARNING!

1. "I'm pleased that you tried so hard."
Recognition of your child's effort in trying to complete a difficult class assignment makes him feel valued. Even though he may not have succeeded in getting the right answer, your acknowledgement that he tried hard is enough to make him do more the next time.

2. "I can see this is difficult for you."It is always helpful to show your pre-schooler that you realise school work is not easy at times. Your empathy, rather than criticism or ridicule, makes him feel that you support him. A brief remark like that can ease him over this learning hurdle.

3. "There were times I found things boring in school."It is normal for a child to have fluctuating interest in class activities occasionally. By pointing out that your interest also varied when you were his age, your child begins to believe that this is a temporary phrase which should soon pass.

4. "Let's think about how school can be more interesting for you."Ask your child to think about possible changes to make learning more attractive. Perhaps he would like to change his seating in class, or to attend a new after-school club, or to complete his homework with his friend. Basic changes can be helpful.

5. "I'm so proud of you."
There is no better boost to motivate learning than praise. It does not matter that your child took all week to complete that short page in his reading book, while another child completed the entire book in half the time. Your child's achievement deserves your praise and approval.

Encouraging Healthy Eating Habits for Children

2008-06-09T02:03:00.005+08:00

It is essential for children to practice healthy eating habits. As a parent your are in the best position to influence your child. If you eat healthy food and exercise regularly, your child is more likely to do the same.

Here are some tips to help your child stay healthy.

1. Encourage your child to :

* Eat a variety of food and eat all food in moderation.

* Eat at regular meal times and do not skip meals

* Eat breakfast every day. Food such as wholegrain cereals with low fat milk or wholemeal bread with peanut butter are good breakfast choices.

2. Prepare home-cooked meals at least twice a day (e.g. breakfast and dinner). Cook food with less salt, fats,oil and sugar. Use healthier cooking methods such as steaming, microwaving, boiling stir-frying and grilling instead of deep frying.

3. Milk is important for your growing child. Include milk as part of his meal. If your child does not like to drink milk, you can include alternatives such as calcium fortified yogurt, cheese, soya bean milk or small fish with edible bones, such as sardines or anchovies. If your child is overweight, you can use low fat milk products.

4. Avoid buying unhealthy snacks that are high in fat, sugar and salt. If your child wants a snack, provide healthy choices such as:

* A serving of fruit
* A glass of low fat milk
* A portion of low fat fruit yogurt
* A sandwich (tuna/chicken/egg)
* 4 plain biscuits

5. Keep a bowl of fruit on the dinning table where your child can easily reach for them.

6. Avoid cooking extra food. Cook enough for one meal. Advise your child to leave the table once he has finished the meal.

7. When eating out, you may suggest two healthy options to your child, "Would you like to have noodle soup or porridge?" instead of asking "What would you like to eat?". Teach your child to say "no" to people who offer him food when he is not hungry. If your child keeps asking for unhealthy snacks, say "no" firmly and offer a healthy snack instead.

8. Limit pocket money to a reasonable amount (based on your child's age). Do not give excess pocket money for your child to spend on unhealthy snacks.

9. You can help your child to reduce his intake of unhealthy food step by step. For example:

* If your child drinks 7 cans of soft drinks a week, cut down to 4.
Once he has achieved his goals, try to reduce the quantity further.

* Drink half a can of soft drink or dilute it with ice or add water to the drink.

* Buy a smaller bag of snacks and share it with others.

10. Praise your child when he chooses to eat healthier food.

Stress and Children

2008-05-26T16:38:00.008+08:00

Stress is the body's natural reaction to a stimulus and it disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of a person. Simply put, it is the pressure one feels when confronted by a challenge or problem.

Given the fast-paced nature of modern living, higher expectations are being set for children than days gone by. The main causes of stress in our young children today include:

*Peer pressure and competition;

*Changes in familiar routines or faces:

*Expectations to perform well academically and in extra-curricular activities.

Signs of Stress in Children

Here are some tell-tale signs that your child could be suffering from stress:

* Sleep problems;
* Anxiety or panic attacks
* Refusal to have proper meals;
* Bouts of moody and irritable behaviours;
* Constant sense of being hassled and pressurised;
* Being sad and depressed for no good reason; and
* Occurrences of headaches, stomach problems etc.

Do note that different children have different ways of acting out their stress. Some children develop rage fits and may take it out on others. Others may keep to themselves and become withdrawn and reserved all of a sudden.

With proper guidance and advice, children can be taught to manage stress properly and turn it into a motivating force instead. Unfortunately, for children who are not guided adequately, they can suffer consequences such as a weakened immune system, which leads to health problems, and negative self-esteem.

Ways to Help Children Cope

Here are some ways by which you can help your child cope with stress:

1. Listen to him
Set aside some time everyday to talk to your child and ask him about his day. Probe him deeper to find out issues that he has been worried or anxious about if he seems particularly withdrawn or quiet.

2. Talk to him about managing stress
Through careful observation, you would gradually know what brings your child down and makes him anxious. With this knowledge, you can teach him to anticipate and be prepared to manage stressful situations, like doing homework or taking a writing test that is challenging.

3.Plan proper rest time
Sometimes the simplest solution can be just proper rest. If your child is frazzled after a long hard day in school, send him to bed earlier than normal, so that he can have adequate rest and "recovery" time.

4. Assure him constantly
Tell your child that it is okay to feel stressed at certain times and that it is a common emotional experience in people. Remind him that you are always there for him, no matter what.

5. Look out for fun and relaxing activities
Encourage your child to participate in fun activities that take his mind off his problems. Be it swimming, cycling around the park, or playing a game of friendly soccer with his friends - let him sweat it out and have some good fun.

6. Be careful with your words
Never use words like "stupid' or "slow" on your child if he does not perform academically or do something to your satisfaction. Many factors can contribute to his inability to do something expected of him. Try to find out the reason and work together with him to help get back on track.

7. Don't compare!
Never compare your child with his siblings, friends or relatives. Recognise that he is his own unique individual. Comparisons will only add on to his stress and lover his self-esteem, rather than motivate him.

8. Who's the ambitious one, really?
Ask yourself: Does my child really need those extra tuition classes and enrichment lessons? Or do I need to help him achieve a good balance between work and play?

Generally, children do learn to handle stress better as they grow older but it is important for parents to teach them stress management skills from an early age.

By teaching children simple and effective tips for managing stress, we are also equipping them with problem- solving skills and helping them to become resilient and independent individuals.

How To Teach Your Children Courage

2008-05-14T15:35:00.004+08:00

I came across this informative and useful article by Alvin Poh, who is the founder of Learning Champ, a parenting wesbite that provides information and resources to parents, who want to help their children develop the important skills and mind set for a brighter future -> http://www.alvinkh.per.sg/learningchamp

Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard, even when it means being called a "chicken" by others.

A person with courage dares to attempt difficult things that are good. He has the strength of a leader and ability not to follow the crowd, to say no and mean it and influence others by it. He is true to conviction and follows good impulses even when they are unpopular or inconvenient.

You can teach your children courage through stories, games, role-playing and discussion. However the most powerful and effective approach is to have it and show it through your personal example and through your generous praise of their example and attempts.

Here are some guidelines on how you can teach honesty to your children

Praise Their Attempts

Take notice of every little effort of your child and reward him for the slightest evidence of courage. This applies to children of any age.

For young children to demonstrate courage, it takes the overcoming of thumping heard and mind full of uncertainty. Hence you child make an attempt, he truly deserve your lavish praise. Your praise should be for his attempt, regardless of the outcome of his action.

For example,
- praise your child for trying a new way to doing things,
- trying new food,
- initiate making friends with people he just met,
- trying a new activity

Among all, the most important one is to praise for his moral courage i.e. not going with others who were doing something wrong, telling the truth when it is easier to tell a lie etc.

Teach By Your Example

Children learn best from what they see rather what you say. Give your children a parental model for courage. Share stories with your children about difficult things that you do ? this is not to boost or brag about yourself but a way to tell your kids that even adults have difficult things.

If you have a tough project or decision to make, tell your children about it. If you said no to some peer pressure or make a decision that is morally and ethic right although it will make you unpopular, tell your children about it. Your children will learn a lot from your stories.

Teach Them the Difference between Courage versus "Loudness" and Lack of Courage versus Shyness

Courage is a quality of character and not personality. If you have children that are shy, help them to understand that you are not trying to teach them to be louder or assertive but courage.

Talk to them about "quiet courage" ? the courage to say no to something that is wrong, the courage to make friend with another child who has no friends. Explain to them that everyone can be a little scared but we can all do what is right anyway.

Help Your Children Understand the Makeup of Courage

The most important factor to teach courage to children of all age is to realize that preparation and faith makeup courage.

Our children will have courage if they are properly prepared, whether it is by thinking through decision, teaching them to say no with confidence, doing something new and helping them to feel confident that they can perform well. The key to courage is to help your children build up faith in themselves that they are able to do what they know is right. Your kids will realize that faith lies not believing that something will turn up but in believing that they can turn something up.

Mood Disorders - recognising and helping children with mood disorders

2008-05-06T12:28:00.007+08:00

We have all felt sad or melancholy from time to time. But when a child reaches a point where the ache of sadness becomes chronic and intolerable, then he is likely to be suffering from mood disorder.

These can only be diagnosed if the sufferer's mood disturbance results from an excessively high or low mood over a period of time.
Such disorders are pervasive and don't disappear with time.

Without interference or proper treatment, children and adults who suffer from mood disorders cannot cope well in society. The condition can disrupt all aspects of their lives, as well as the lives of people around them.

Some possible causes for mood disorders in children include:

* Stress or pressure from the family, school or social environment;

* Low self-esteem or self-worth;

* An inability to cope with a given situation;

* Exposure to traumatic events;

* Lack of support, care, love and understanding; and

* A chemical imbalance within the brain.

Signs And Symptoms

Basically, there are two types of mood disorders: depressive disorders and bipolar disorders ( also known as manic depression).

Depression can be defined as a deep overriding sadness and feeling of despair. If a child suffers from depressive disorder, he may:

* Feel Depressed;

* Lose interest or pleasure in daily routines, usual hobbies, etc;

* Lose weight significantly;

* Either sleep too much or be unable to sleep;

* Feel fatigue or loss of energy;

* Feel a sense or worthlessness, helplessness or hopelessness;

* Be less able to concentrate; and

* Have recurrent thoughts of death, self-harm or suicide.

A bipolar disorder is characterised by wild mood swings ranging from depression to manic behavior. If a child is experiencing a manic episode, he may:

* Tend towards inflated self-esteem or grandiosity;

* Sleep less than usual;

* Be more talkative or feel the need to keep on talking;

* Have flights or ideas or racing thoughts;

* Be easily distracted; and

* Increase his involvement in activities.

What Parents Can DO to Help

# Understand and work within your child's needs, abilities and strengths;

# Be understanding and supportive;

# Talk to him regularly (e.g) ask him how his every day goes;

# Play with him or do some relaxing activity together;

# Listen to him - do not ignore any plea for help.

# Watch out for signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts;

# See issues/problems from his point of view, not yours;

# Avoid putting unnecessary pressure or stress on him;

# Do not compare him with other children;

# Do not scold or threaten him; and

# Monitor his behavior and decide when professional help is required.

Making Literacy FUN for Preschoolers

2008-05-01T15:03:00.006+08:00

Here are some simple ways that are fun for your kids and at the same time help them to improve their reading, writing, speaking and listening skills.

Introducing / Recognising Alphabet Letters for READING

*Magic / Feel Bag:
What you need - A bag full of Alphabet cut outs
Get your child to take out one cut out letter at a time with her eyes closed and then try to recognise it. Or she can put a hand in the bag and feel a cut - out letter to guess what it is.

*Guess The Letter:
Using a board, hide one large letter at a time behind the board. Slowly reveal the letter a bit at a time, so that your child can only see part of it and have to guess which one it is.

*Bingo Game (Best played in a group of 3 or more children)
Each child has a card with numerous alphabet letters on it. Call out a letter and the children will have to see if they can find and identify the letter on their cards.

*Matching cards:
Play the "Snap" card game or other memory games likes "Pairs" etc.
You could also get your child to match pictures with similar beginning letters, later advancing to match pictures with correct ending-letters or even medial sounds.

*Word Wheels:
Prepare simple blends such as /it/at/ip, on the outer wheel, and letters on the inner wheel that will make simple three-letter words. To make a complete word, let your child spin the inner wheel to match up the letter sound with the outer wheel sound.

*Letter Fans
Let your child hold small cards with letters or sound blends on them. Call out an object or a letter, and prompt your child to hold up the correct letter or blend.

Introducing Simple Writing Techniques

*Sand / Sealed Bags of Paint:
Allow your child to trace letter shapes in the sand, or watch paint smudge around the inside of a large plastic bags as she make letter shapes - please make sure that the paint bags are sealed tightly...

*Guess The Letter

This game is easy and fun and needs NO equipment except for your fingers and the palm of your child.
Trace a letter on your child's palm of her hand with her eyes closed or you could choose to trace it on her back. Then ask her to guess the letter.

*Describe The Letter
Describe how a letter is written, and then have your child follow your verbal instruction to write that letter correctly. For e.g. for the letter /n/, say : "Start at the top and go down, back up to the top and around and back down again.

Encourage more Speaking and Listening

*Sing / Say:
Sing along with your child nursery rhymes, recite poems and read stories.

*Silly Rhymes
Encourage your child to create her own rhymes or silly sentences. There is sure to be lots of laughter and fun while your child learns to associates like sounding words.

*Story Time

Once you have read a story to your child or read the story together with her. Ask her questions about the story. This will encourage her to listen and pay more attention whenever a story is read. Encourage her to retell the story. Change the start of the story and ask her to come up with her own ending etc. - This encourages her to use her imagination and creativity.

Teaching Children to go the GREEN WAY

2008-04-22T13:30:00.008+08:00

In our bid to save our planet, every bit of effort counts, and children are the best way to invest in a greener, more viable future.

Here are some tips to get your kids to appreciate the Earth and thus understand the part they can play to Save the Earth.

Home is not only where the LOVE is but also the place where BEST practices can be inculcated. As kids spend the majority of their time at home, you, the parent are the first and foremost person who can and should teach about the EARTH, how our environment and resources are being depleted every day and how simple acts on "OUR" part can make a difference.

Short and Sweet - Everyone can save water and energy by taking shorter showers. Did you know that every two minutes shaved off just one shower can add up to to an impressive ten gallons of water every day.

Cool case - Teach your child to make snappy decisions when it comes to choice of snack or food when opening the fridge. The refrigerator is the biggest energy consuming kitchen appliance and opening the fridge door accounts for between $30 and $60 of a typical family's electrical bill each year.

Clear choice - When it comes to packing away leftovers, choose glass or porcelain storage containers over plastic ones. Share facts about the extended period needed to degrade plastic and teach kids that fewer chemicals are likely to leach from the container to food and cause health risks this way.

Running resources - Remind your child to keep taps turned off while brushing his teeth. This way we can conserve up to five gallons of water a day.

Bagging it - when shopping for grocery, encourage your kids to bring along their own bag instead of using plastic bags. If it is only one small item, consider not using a plastic bag at all. In Singapore, about 2.5 billion plastic shopping bags are used each year. That's equal to 2500 bags per family annually. If each family uses one less plastic bag a week, that means 50 million less plastic bags in a year!

Entertainment - Keeping children entertained is big business. As a huge amount of resources, marketing and research is dedicated to the entertainment industry, the by product is a tremendous amount of waste produced. Families and kids who go green when having fun can help save the volume of waste produced through this Entertainment industry.

Making book - smart choices. Take kids on trips to the library or second hand bookstores. Encourage them to share their own books with friends or take them to a charity drive to donate away their old books. Over 3 billion new books are sold yearly, which requires no less than 400 000 trees to be chopped down.

Picking the right kind of treats. Encourage children to buy loose or unwrapped candy from sweet bins where possible. A large proportion of sweet wrappers contain additives that make them stain - resistant but they are also harder to break down.

Choosing downloads. I am not talking about Pirated Media. Teach or help your kids to download music from online music stores instead of buying music CDs. This not only saves costs but also reduces the number of CDs that end up in landfills every month.

Renting, NOT buying. Feeling like watching a video over the weekend. Then do make a trip down to the rental stores instead of purchasing DVDs and VCDs off the rack. In the US alone, 100 000 DVDs and VCDs are discarded each month!

Partying the Green way. Thinking of celebrating your child's next birthday. Instead of shopping for premium, cardstock quality invitations, classmates could be sent RSVP slips in their emails.
During the party, let the guests eat off glassware instead of disposable paper or plastic plates and use recycled paper napkins.
Gifts can be requested sans gift wraps and ribbons as these items also take a toll on the environment.

Recycled crafts. Creative and fun ways to recycle your cards
How to recycle wrapping papers into crafts and other great ideas

School. Apart from home, your child will spend many of his hours in school. There are plenty of opportunities to help keep the Earth Green in the School too.

Paper, Paper Everywhere. Almost half of all school waste comes from paper in its various forms. Writing paper, drawing pads, notebooks, schoolbooks, test sheets, hand outs and many more. While a good chunk of this does get recycled, more often than not, these papers just get discarded.

School canteens are culprits too. School canteens and cafeterias not only produce a sizable amount of waste daily in the form of food packages, wrappers, drink boxes and bottles, they also churn out large amounts of waste in the form of food scrapes that go uneaten and discarded without a second thought.

Teach kids to pack a waste-free lunch. Do away with plastic bags, disposable plastic utensils and containers, paper napkins and food options that require plastic wrapping that won't break down easily. Instead, show children how they can prepare healthy recess and lunch options in reusable containers. Children can exercise the option of what they would like to have for breaks and can also have control over the amount they would like to take along with them. This not only eliminates waste but also makes healthier meals.

Why the school bus rocks. Get kids signed up for the school bus service instead of taking trips to school in cars. This will also give junior a chance to natter with his mates on the way to school.

Get stationery savvy. Most markers contain harsh chemicals that can leak into groundwater from landfills, so choose markers that are non-toxic and refillable. Pick pencils made from recycled materials and those that are packed in recyclable material.

Paper Chase. Choose writing material for kids (and yourself) made from recycled contents and opt for paper that doesn't contain chlorine. Post-consumer recycled paper requires 44 per cent less energy to produce, reduces greenhouse gas emissions by 37 percent and produce 48 per cent less waste.

Concept to Teach your Kids

Non- renewable resources

Resources of a more limited supply that include oil, natural gas and coal. Because these resources aren't sustainable, we could run out of them and be forced to seek alternative replacements or solutions. Recycle items made of non-renewable resources or opt for purchases made of renewable materials.

Global warming

Sometimes called climate change, this is when the Earth's average temperature begins to rise. This can lead to more intense storms and weather patterns and can increase the likelihood of diseases spreading faster and farther around the Earth.

E-waste

Consists of any discarded electronic appliance. These contain parts made of hazardous materials that require proper disposal to prevent them from leaking into groundwater. Sell, donate or recycle appliances instead of junking them.

Exploring the world through pretend play

2008-04-17T23:50:00.007+08:00

Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend play. With so many passive activities like watching TV and playing video games, we sometimes need to encourage our children to pretend play. Here are a few suggestions on how to get those creative juices flowing for both you and your child.

Dress Up Box
Put a dress up box together with some of your old dresses, jackets, blouses, old Halloween costumes, etc. Don't forget to throw in some fun accessories as well, such as purses, hats, wigs, scarves, gloves. etc. If you can't find much around the house, look around at some yard sales and the Goodwill and Salvation Army stores. You'll be able to find some great dress up clothes for your kids for next to nothing.

You may also get requests for some unusual accessories like space helmets, crowns, etc. Be creative and look around the house. A colander makes a cool helmet and you can form a sparkling crown out of aluminum foil.

Veterinarian

All you'll need is any of the stuffed animals your kids already have plus some bandages. You can substitute an empty pen to serve as a thermometer or syringe. A pair of headphones can quickly be turned into a stethoscope by taping a plastic bottle cap to the jack.

Grocery Store

You can quickly put a grocery store together on a low shelf or side table. All you'll need is a basket and several empty cereal and rice boxes. Add a few canned goods and some dry beans, and you're all set. You can also draw up your own money on pieces of paper and cut some coins out of cardboard. Ask your child to help you color them. Take turns with your child being the shopper or the storekeeper.

Library
When your child gets bored of playing store, turn the grocery store into a library. Make up a library card for every family member and add a small piece of paper into each of your child's books. If your child cannot read or write yet, draw a symbol for each family member, or use a different color. When someone checks out a book from the family library, ask the child to record who took it and when it is due back in. You can also ask your child to sort the books either by topic or alphabetically.

Firefighter

Have your kids turn an empty cardboard box into a fire truck. They can color it and draw tires on with markers or cut out shapes from construction paper. Paint an empty clean can (like a coffee can) blue to use as an emergency light. You can have them make a police car, ambulance or garbage truck. You'll soon have your children pretend play to be a fire fighter, police officer, etc.

Let's Cook

All you'll need are a few pots and pans, some wooden spoons, and if you'd like, some dry rice or beans. Your kids can also draw shapes of favorite foods on construction paper and color them with crayons or markers. After that, let the pretending begin. Encourage your child to pretend cook in the kitchen with you while you are fixing dinner. It will keep him or her occupied, while you can still keep an eye on him or her.

Puppets
One of the most versatile pretend play toys are puppets. You can easily make them yourself. Take a look at these finger puppets (http://www.kinderinfo.com/crafts/fingerpuppets.htm) and handkerchief puppets (http://www.kinderinfo.com/crafts/handkerchief-puppet.htm). There is also a huge array of puppets from people to animals commercially available. Puppets will allow your child to recreate situations of everyday life and to explore different points of view. Watching them when they play with their puppets will give also give you a glimpse at how they see the world. Do you really say, "Please don't do that" that often?

Give your child the means and a little bit of encouragement to pretend play and they'll run with it. Our children are so observatory of their surroundings and also have tons of imagination. You'll enjoy watching them and interacting with them as they explore their world through pretend play.

Children and creativity

2008-04-10T09:23:00.005+08:00

To be creative is to take novel approaches towards things and to think out of the box.

Children are all naturally creative because they are not understand constraints, rules or conventions.

Their ability to plan, rationalise and think logically is only developed later. Before that, they tend to latch on the approach that strikes them first, be it an unconventional approach.

We know that creativity is important. It is a fact that people who are creative are more flexible in their thinking. They can see more than one solution to a problem and are not afraid to use a less conventional approach if it works.

Knowing that there can be more than one solution to every problem, and more than one prospective to every issue, is what we need children to learn.

Moreover, children who are encouraged to be creative will have a better self-esteem. Encouraging creativity means to accept ideas from children and not to dismiss the ideas as incorrect or not workable.

When we encourage children to do things their own way, they will learn to believe in themselves and their abilities. They know what they want and that their thoughts are not insignificant.

At the end of the day, better self esteem means greater confidence and less fear of failure. This translates into more positive attitude towards life and hence better chances at success.

How to Foster Creativity in Children

Children are not self-conscious, they are naturally curious and always eager to try new things. Characteristics like these mean that childhood is a great time for fostering creativity.

Parents and teachers have to encourage and nurture the inherent creativity in children so that it will grow and not fizzle out under the stresses of school or as they start to understand rules and restriction.

* Allow children to express their thoughts and feelings freely. Do not belittle them so that they will gain confidence in their own abilities and will not feel that their good ideas should take second place to rules.

* Ask open ended questions that encourage them to think and evaluate further, such as "Why do you think so?" and "what do you think will happen if....?"

*Encourage them to ask questions. When children ask questions it shows that they are trying to work something out. The solution is not as important as them knowing that there are question they should be asking.

* Children must not assume something is too difficult before they even start working on it. It is important not to put ideas of "I can't" in their minds, but to encourage them to always try.

* Children learn by trial and error, so resist the temptation to stop them in the midst of their activities and guide them in the 'right' way. If they look like they are enjoying themselves, leave them to continue their tasks even if their methods are clumsy.

* Expose them to art, television programmes, books, music and physical activities, etc. The more exposure they have the more accepting they will be of new things and ideas. Through varied activities, adults can also spot what are each child's strengths and talents are.

Note that creativity should not be used as an excuse for children's inappropriate behavior. Neither should parents and teachers be blind to possible genuine behavioral problems, attributing misdemeanours to over-abundant creativity.

There should still be reasonable discipline and specific training where it matters. Decide on what rules are most important for your children and be more flexible with the rest.

Do check out my earlier post - Games and Activities to ignite the creative spark

The Cost of Competition on Kids

2008-04-05T18:04:00.007+08:00

What is the price of winning? There's many a time that, as a parent, we have instilled the need to win, to be first even at trivial things. A game such as musical chair is a good example. Instead of having a fun time, the aim is always to win.

I came across an article by Rae Pica which I think every parent should read and understand so that we will not continue to make the mistake of "Pushing" our child to win.

The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty strong feelings in the United States. In fact, even hinting that competition might not be such a great thing can cause one to be labeled un-American.

The prevailing belief is that competition is good for everyone ? that someone without a strong competitive nature is just a wimp. That being competitive is human nature and to be noncompetitive is to have been born without a necessary gene.

But is it human nature, or is it learned behavior? The research shows that, given a choice, most preschoolers prefer cooperative to competitive activities. This would seem to indicate that dog-eat-dog is not a natural inclination. And in a New York Times essay, Nicholas Kristof told a hilarious story about trying to teach the game of musical chairs to a group of five-year-old Japanese children, who kept politely stepping out of the way so others could sit in their chairs. This would certainly seem to indicate "dog-eat-dog" is taught in some societies and not taught in others.
In America we play musical chairs in child-care centers, during play dates, and at almost every preschooler's birthday party. The rules say that a chair is removed with every round and one more child gets to sit against the wall and watch everybody else continue to have fun. The game is over when there remains one winner (and lots of losers).

In case you don't recall from your own childhood (or maybe you were always the one winner among many losers), being eliminated feels lousy, as does feeling like a loser. And those other kids you're playing with? For the duration of the game they're not your friends; they're what's standing in your way. Children only have to play this game once to know that, if they're not going to be labeled losers, they have to do whatever it takes to win. And we've all seen what that means: punching, poking, kicking, scratching, screaming, and shoving. It's no wonder the research shows that competition fosters antisocial behaviors.

When parents consistently place their children in situations where winning is the ultimate goal, where the winners are considered heroes and the losers "losers", winning is what they come to value. They learn that only the end result counts, not the process involved in getting there. Further, when parents themselves fail to conduct themselves with character, their actions speak much louder than any words preached about good sportsmanship and the value of teamwork and cooperation. While the goal of many parents is to give their children a running start on the development of sports skills (because success in sports certainly must equal success in life!), the research shows that competition is actually detrimental to skill development. One reason is fear of failure and its resulting stress, which isn't conducive to either learning or performance. Young children, in particular, are susceptible to this problem because pleasing their parents means so much to them. And when their parents focus on winning ? Either through action (screaming on the sidelines) or words (asking "Who won?" instead of "Did you have fun?") ? winning becomes the children's goal as well.
Of course, you may think the goal of winning would be enough to propel children into performing their best. But young children aren't cognitively ready to make that connection. They attribute winning or losing to ability, not effort. Nor are they emotionally ready to handle the pressure of playing mistake-free games. And they're not physically ready to play without making mistakes!

Finally, when product (winning) is emphasized over process (making an effort), extrinsic reward is granted more validity than intrinsic reward. As a result, trophies and championships become the whole point of participation. And while this may not seem like such a bad thing in a goal-oriented society, we're back to the issue of the young child's stage of development. Children under the age of eight are motivated by pleasure. And, yes, winning feels good when everyone around you is making a big deal out of it. But does that feeling last? And what about the children who aren't winning?

Dare I say it? Winning isn't everything. And if we want our children to grow up to be self-assured, character-driven adults, who also happen to have positive feelings about physical activity, then it really shouldn't be.

Rae Pica is a children's physical activity specialist and the author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Rae speaks to parent and education groups throughout North America. You can visit her and read more articles at http://www.movingandlearning.com.

The Story behind your child's untidy handwriting

2008-03-27T21:53:00.004+08:00

Nowadays, it has become common for children to display poor handwriting. As a parent, we should not accept poor handwriting as the norm but must make sure that our children put in the effort to write legibly and neatly. Bad handwriting is detrimental to the child as he will be penalised when the teacher is unable to decipher what has been written. As teachers mark countless written assignments daily, they will find it easier to mark neat handwritten work and give them high grades as compared to chicken scribble by other children.

Signs of Trouble

Sheer laziness or maybe even poor eyesight could be the reason behind your child's bad handwriting, but if it is something more, it is good to detect it early. The following are some telltale signs that can help you raise the red flag early:

* Poor or awkward pencil grip;

* Not clearly right or left handed;

* Difficulty concentrating when reading or writing;

* Slow or laboured copying or writing;

* Immature drawing and copying skills;

* Avoidance of writing tasks;

* Reversed letters or numbers, that is, writes "b" for "d" or "12" for "21";

* Confused order of letters in words;

* poor spelling and the misspelling is not phonetic;

* Variation in letter size and writing quality from top of page to the bottom;

* Random punctuation errors or virtually no punctuation;

* Inconsistency in writing, that is, print mixed with cursive or upper mixed with lowercase letters;

* Difficulty organising and completing written assignments; and

* Poor presentation and content management.

Handwriting may reflect learning disorders

Any of the above signs could indicate a possible learning disorder. A learning disorder is a difficulty in an academic area ( reading, mathematics, or written expression ) that results in the child achieving a level of academic performance below that expected for his age, educational level, and level of intelligence.

Take note, however, that most children with learning disorders have normal intelligence. However, the difficulty experienced by the child may be severe enough that it interferes with his academic achievement.

Following are some types of learning disorders:

# Reading disorder or dyslexia:
A reading disorder is present when a child reads below the expected level, given his age, grade in school and intelligence. Children with reading disorder read slowly and have difficulty understanding what they read. They may have difficulty with word recognition and tend to confuse words that look similar.

# Mathematics disorder or dyscalcullia:
A mathematics disorder is present when a child has problems with skills related to numbers, such as counting, copying numbers correctly, adding and carrying numbers, learning multiplication tables, recognising mathematical signs, and understanding mathematical operations.

# Disorder of written expression or dysgraphia:
A disorder of written expression is present when a child has difficulty with writing skills, such as understanding grammar and punctuation, spelling, paragraph organisation, or composing written information. Often these children also have poor handwriting skills.

Learning disorders are treatable. A coordinated effort between parents, teachers and relevant health professionals provides the basis for individualised treatment strategies that may include individual or group remediation, and / or special classes or resources.

Generally strategies fall into three categories:

* Accommodation - providing alternatives to written expression;

* Modification - changing expectation or task to minimise or avoid the area of weakness; and

* Remediation - providing instruction for improving handwriting and writing skills.

Unfortunately, there are no preventive measures to reduce the incidence of learning disorder. Early detection and intervention can reduce the severity of academic difficulties and improve the child's quality of life.

Monitor your child's handwriting regularly and do not be too quick to make any judgement. You may want to discuss with his teachers first and if both of you feel that there really is reason enough to be concerned, the next step then is to have him assessed by a qualified professional.

Myopia in young children

2008-03-18T14:06:00.004+08:00

Does your child complain of having headaches? Have you caught him squinting at the television, blinking, rubbing his eyes or holding his latest clutch of comics close to his face just to get a better look? If you had, he could have myopia.

Myopia, or shortsightedness, is a visual condition that allows those with it to see objects which are nearby with clarity while more distant objects appear blurred. This is because the images of distant objects are focused in front of the retina rather than on it. The individual's eyeball could be too long from front to back.

Myopia develops most often in children of school-going age and typically worsens prior to stabilising during the individual's twenties.

What Myopia does

The younger your child is at the time of him developing myopia, the more shortsighted he is likely to be in future. With higher degrees in myopia, comes greater risk of developing complications that could lead to blindness or reduced vision in later years.

These complications include greater chances of developing cataracts at an earlier age, as well as the occurrence of macular degeneration, a condition that occurs when the retina degenerates, causing reduced vision.

Other complications such as retinal detachment, which takes place when the inner layer of the eye separates from the eyeball, could also take place.

Possible reasons for developing Myopia

1. Genetic factors
2. Lack of proper diet and nutrition
3. Near work

Of the 3 factors, near work can be considered as the significant cause for Myopia. As children spend considerable amount of time on school work, take home work, enrichment classes as well as spent time on handheld gadgets such as gaming and entertainment devices as well as on hand phones and personal computers, all of which amounts to what is termed as Near work.

The best way to prevent or at least reduce myopia would be by Naturing good eye care habits.

* Get your child to hold reading material approximately 30cm from his eyes. He should seated in a comfortable chair with good lighting. There should not be excessive light so that a glare is present on either reading material, or his face.

* Make sure that when your child watches television he is not lying down but seated at least 2 meters from the screen in a well lit room. The television screen should be at the room's centre and placed at eye level.

* As for PC usage, make sure that your child is at least 50 cm away from the monitor and that the glare from the monitor is adjusted to the minimum. Also, do ensure that other sources of light do not cause unwanted reflections off the monitor's screen. Be mindful that your child is seated upright instead of leaning towards the monitor screen. The screen should be 10 to 15 degrees below eye level.

* keep the time spent on Near work to a minimum. When your child is engaged in near work, encourage him to take a break at 30 to 40 minute intervals. Children can do this by involving in outdoor activity such as a stroll or by spending some time looking at objects in the distance from a window. These short breaks allow your child to relax his eyes and further allow him to return to his books refreshed.

Far - Sighted Advice

* All children should have their eyes screened.

* Take your child to the family doctor or an optometrist if you think he might have a visual disorder. If necessary, your child will be referred to a specialist.

* Ensure that your child's eyes are measured properly for his spectacles as wrong prescriptions can worsen myopia.

* There is no cure - all for myopia at present so be wary of claims to the contrary.

MYTHS About Myopia

Myth 1 : Wearing prescription glasses worsens myopia.
Fact : Refusing to wear properly prescribed spectacles where
necessary can lead to the development of a lazy eye. The
child's vision can be permanently harmed.

Myth 2 : Taking vitamin supplement regularly reduces myopia.
Fact : Provide your child with a balanced diet with adequate
nutrients and vitamins. Overdosing on vitamin supplement
can harm your child.

Myth 3 : Eye exercises and other forms of vision training can
reduce myopia.
Fact : Such exercises relax the eye and are part of good eye care habits but do not correct myopia.

Tackling MYOPIA

There is no cure for Myopia. However, if your child does have this visual condition, there are a number of options from which he can choose in order to see better. Note however, that he might not be able to pursue some of these until he is older.

Prescription Glasses

At present, the most common care available for those with myopia, and particularly for young children with the condition, is the prescription of minus lenses. These prescription glasses provide clear vision for your child by focusing rays of light further into the eye so that a clear image is displayed on the retina. However, as the degree of your child's myopia changes, you will have to take him on annual checks to ascertain if he will need to have his lenses changed.

Contact Lenses.

Contact lenses can be an alternative to prescription lenses for children who are shy or refuse to wear glasses in public and at school. However, ascertaining when your child is ready for the responsibility of caring for their contact lenses appropriately should be a key priority for parents who choose this option.

Laser surgery

Laser surgery is not recommended for children as the child's myopia may not have stabilised before the surgery is done. Thus, this may result in repeat surgeries. Moreover, children's eyes are also more prone to inflammation induced by laser surgery.

Look out for your child's vision by encouraging good eye care habits and regular eyesight screenings.

Dealing with Dyslexia

2008-03-07T08:46:00.003+08:00

The term dyslexia was first introduced in 1884 by a German opthalmologist, R Berlin, who coined it from the Greek words "Dys" meaning ill or difficult , and "Lexis" meaning word.

Dyslexia is a common neurologically based, specific learning difficulty that is characterised by difficulties in one or more of the reading, spelling and writing discplines.

Recognising Dyslexia in your child

Parents need to watch out for one or more of the following seven examples fo difficulty, as they are typical symptoms of dyslexia:

1. Directional Confusion
Your child "Mirror" writes by reversing letters, whole words or numbers. For example, instead of writing "boy" he writes "doy"

2. Squencing Difficulties
Your child may omit letters, or put letters, syllables and words in the wrong order. Some examples, "act" for "cat", "there are" for "are there" and "wet" for "went".

3. Difficulty with the Little words
Your child misreads, reads twice or omits words like "a", "the" and "from".

4. Late Talking
According to Dr. Beve Hornsby, author of "Overcoming Dyslexia", about 60% of dyslexics are late talkers. You should be concerned if your child talks immaturely, or continues to make unexpected grammatical errors in his speech for his age.

5. Difficulties with Handwritting
Your child's handwritting is generally illegible, with letter inconsistencies, a mixture of upper/lowercase letters, irregular letter sizes and shapes, etc.

6. Difficulties with Maths
Your child revers or transposes numbers, is confused by similar looking mathematical signs (+ and X; > and <, etc) or has problem with mental arithmetic, times tables and time telling.

7. Short working memory
Your child forgets easily and thus needs to be frequently reminded to do things.

Do note that each dyslexic child is different and thus it's difficult to find them all having the same or uniform difficulties. However, the most obvious are difficulties with spelling, reading and writing.

Helping your child overcome Dyslexia

Although there is no cure for dyslexia, the learning problems it causes can be largely overcome through skilled specialist teaching and compensatory strategies.

Teaching dyslexia is a specialist procedure entailing a lot of variable techniques far beyond the capacity of parents.

So how can a parent help? Parents must ensure that the child is helped to appreciate that his self value and self esteem should not suffer because he is dyslexic. Thus a parent should not give a negative or uninspiring response such as " You are stupid or incompetent" etc.

For effective learning to take place, parents should provide a positive and rewarding environment. You could give little rewards such as star stickers etc. for targets achieved such as an improvement in his spelling.

It is important for the parent to praise his child for all his effort and to console him if he doesn't do well or live up to expectations.

It is also important for the parent to inform the child's teacher of his difficulties so that the teacher would be understanding of his problem and not berate or embarrass him for his weakness.

Story Books - A starting point for teaching Preschoolers

2008-03-04T08:43:00.009+08:00

A storybook is a versatile tool that can help your child develop an understanding, respect and appreciation for other cultures, people of all works of life as well as the things around her.

Stories are beneficial in many ways, as they help children to:

* Enrich their understanding and learning experience.

* Develop listening and concentration skills and facilitate greater verbal communication.

* Develop positive attitudes towards print, text and eventually reading. Teaching your child to handle the books with care and love.

* Exercise the imagination and explore the creative side through the illustrations.

* Develop new ideas - I have always wondered how children would end a story given their own choice and are not shown the end of the book. I belief we would get quite creative replies!

* Be exposed to correct grammar, varied sentence structure and tenses.

* Become more willing to express their thoughts and feelings.

Ways to promote learning through stories:

1. Books provide facts as well as fiction, so let your child be a researcher for a day or imaginative author creating fantasy stories.

2. Use the language from the story books in role-play and games.

3. Retell stories in a more simple way.

4. Let your child recall and tell the story in her own words so that she will develop her memory and language skill.

5. Let her create her own version of the story by changing the ending, giving a twist, adding a character from another story etc.

6. While you read to your child, use variation in volume, pitch and tempo as well as use your voice for pause and effects. You should also use body language, facial or hand gestures to express the story. It not only makes the story more interesting, it will also help your child to develop her interest in books and her own reading style.

What kind of books to choose?

For young children, books that are attractive, have original illustrations will capture their interest.

Make sure that the book is age appropriate, otherwise you will not be able to sustain your child's interest and thus she will not engage in a positive way with the book. (She will be bored)

Choose books with the following elements

* Repetitive rhymes or text.

* Fun engaging characters and a simple story line

* Great illustration for discussion

* books that allow your child to participate - some examples are those that your child can answer questions or pull or lift tap to find the answer etc.

* A moral or behavioural pattern that you wish to reinforce, or an environmental issue or cultural understanding that you want to promote.

* Potential to learn a diversity of things. For example, The Hungry Caterpillar - where the days of the week, counting, names of fruit, life cycle of a butterfly - all can be learnt from one book!

What other ways have you found reading books to be beneficial to your children. Is there a special or interesting book that you would like to recommend. Please feel free to give your thoughts and comments.

When your child St St Stutters

2008-02-26T00:16:00.004+08:00

What is Stuttering?

It is a form of speech dysfluency, that is, an interruption in the flow of speech. As preschoolers learn to talk, they may repeat or prolong certain syllables, words or phrases, mispronounce words, pause in the middle of sentences or be unable to say certain sounds.

This is a normal stage of speech development referred to as pseudo-stuttering, which will usually go away by age five, as children learn how to coordinate the muscles used for talking.

Pseudo-stuttering is most noticeable when children are tired, anxious or excited. Usually these children are not conscious of their dysfluency and are not emotionally affected by it.

However, if a child has longer or more frequent repetition of some syllables or words, she is then experiencing true stuttering.

Children with true stuttering may also outgrow it as they sharpen their communication skills over time, but they are usually concerned, frustrated and embarrassed by this difficulty. Some may even develop a fear or speaking.

The Causes of Stuttering

It is not known what exactly causes some children to stutter. However, studies show that young children stutter because they are developing their language skills, but their thoughts come faster than they can express them.

Other factors that have been attributed by experts:

1. Genetics - A child is more likely to stutter if a parent stutters. More than 50% of those who stutter have a close family member who stutter.

2. Stress - Changes such as a new childcare centre, moving house, a new sibling etc. may stress a child enough to stutter.

3. The brain's abnormal processing of language - There's problem with the way the brain's messages interact with the muscles and body part required for speech

4. Other speech/language problems or development delays.

When and where to seek help.

Whenever you suspect that your child has true stuttering, you should observe ans monitor his progress regularly.

Some signs of a more severe problems you should take note of with your child are:

* Stuttering in more than half of the sentences, with multiple repetitions ( more than 3 or 4 repetitions of each syllable), and frequent "blockage" (when no sound comes out despite clear effort).

* Stuttering is consistent and persist for more than six months.

* Negative emotional responses from your child, such as turning red, avoidance of speech, and self-depreciating remarks.

* Increased facial tension or tightness in the speech muscles and facial or body movements along with the stuttering

* Vocal tension resulting in rising pitch or loudness

There are several treatment approaches to stuttering today, one of which is to seek help from a qualified speech therapist.

Severe stuttering can affect your child's learning and confidence level. Here are some Tips for helping stuttering children

* Listen patiently and try to make out what your child is saying.

* Instructions should be kept short and simple.

* Time should be allowed for your child to express herself.

* Establish a family rule that everyone has to take turns and wait until the other person has finished before speaking.

* Don't allow teasing about the problem.

* Praise your child for her efforts to learn

* Plan fun things you can do together, focusing on your child's interest and letting her take the lead.

* Keep a relaxed and predictable schedule, with plenty of time for relaxation and sleep.

Snack Right

2008-02-20T09:36:00.003+08:00

Although children need to eat a lot, they cannot do so at one sitting because their stomachs are small. Furthermore, betwen the ages of one and six years, children are usually less interested in food.

It is also during this time when they often develop irregular eating patterns. They may become bored with their usual foods or may want the same food every day.

Do not fret though, about your child's irregular eating pattern; there is also no need to fight it. Below are some ways by which you can work around it so that he still gets the nutrients his growing body needs.

* Do not force him to eat more than what he can. Forcing him will put him off food even more.

* Instead of eating three main meals, offer him five to six mini meals or snacks throughout day.

* Stock up on a wide variety of health foods from the various food groups and let him help himself from the healthy choices that are available to him.

* When planning snacks, mix and match the nutrients. Choose snacks that feature foods from at least two different levels of the food pyramid.

* Make snacks look fun, exciting and attractive.

* Involve him in the planning and shopping of foods that will become his snacks.

* Depending on his age, use pictures and/or words to make charts with lists of foods within each food group and teach him to select foods from two diferent charts when choosing his snacks.

* Involve him in the preparation. Many snacks are simple enough for him to help prepare them.

Here are some suggestions for healthy snacks to feed your youngster.

Eight Easy TO Prepare Snacks

Good snacks, or nutrient-dense snacks, are not neccessarily difficult to prepare and need not be time-consuming. The following are eight quick-and-easy suggestions.

1. Easy Quesadillas

On a whole-wheat tortilla, add shredded light cheese, black beans, shredded skinless roasted chicken, and a small amout of low fat sour cream. Fold tortilla in half and warm over a heated, non-greased pan, pressing down flat into the pan. Flip over, repeat and then cut into triangles before serving.

2. Pita Parcels
Use half a pita pocket. Stuff some shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, diced roasted chicken or chopped hard-boilded eggs and drizzle with mayonnaise.

3. Pizza Bread
Spread pasta sauce on one side of the bread. Lay a slice of low fat chedder cheese and cover with your childs's choice of topping - sliced mushroom, tuna flakes, diced roasted chicken etc. - and toast in a heated oven.

4. Crepe Rolls
Spread some whipped potato over a piece of crepe, lay a piece of seaweed over it and spread some tuna salad over the seaweed. Roll and cut to bite- size portions.

5. Deli Delight
On a colourful plate, arrange whole-grain crackers, low fat cheese, and skinless roasted chicken or turkey.

6. Fruit and Vegetable Platter and Dip
Arrange an assortment of sliced fruits (apples, bananas, peaches, oranges, pineapples, etc.) or vegetables (carrots, cucumber, celery, olives, etc). Serve with cottage cheese or vanilla yoghurt sprinked with cinnamon.

7. Banana Roll-ups
Peel and cut a banana in half and skewer onto a long cocktail stick. Roll in crushed cereal and sprinkle with cinnamon. Freeze for half and hour before serving.

8. Fresh Fruit Smoothies
Blend a banana, 3/4 cup frozen strawberries, 1 cup low fat milk, and 1/2 cup low fat vanilla yoghurt. Add ice and blend to desired consistency.

IT support and help

2008-02-15T01:12:00.004+08:00

As my school going children have started to use the computer for their homework and projects, we found that having only one computer at home has become insufficient. Thus my husband and I recently got a new computer. However, we realized that linking up the both computers through a wireless LAN service would be more beneficial as we could access the internet simultaneously.

As I needed a better technical knowledge of computers and internet I surfed the net in search of a site that provides straightforward, expert IT advice which is trustable.

BT Home IT provides support over the phone for a wide range of technical queries. For issues relating to anything from PCs and printers to iPods and webcam BT Home IT will be able to provide all your answer without all the usual jargon so that even someone who has only basic knowledge is able to understand their advice. They also provide hints and tips relating to any of these issues.

BT Home IT Support can also provide home visits. By booking an appointment with their engineer, you could get face to face help in setting up a new wireless network, installing a new operating system or if you should have any computer repair or even making the most of your home entertainment system.

Worried that spyware, virus and other unwanted programs are in your computer, than you could ask BT Home IT to do a Computer Healthcheck where computer clean up and health check will be provided. They will also provide a review of your computer's security levels.

Making Mathematics FUN for preschoolers

2008-02-10T22:58:00.011+08:00

Do you want your child to have fun learning Mathematics without the need for boring rote learning or paper and pencil techniques? Here are some suggestions for both the parent and child to have Fun with Maths.

Use What is Already Available

* Songs - Many of the young children songs have constant rhythm and repetitiveness that can be used as a great tool for introducing your child to numbers. There are so many examples

1. One, two, three, four, five. Once I caught a fish alive....

2. Five current buns in the baker's shop..

3. One, two buckle my shoe ...

4. One little, two little, three little indian...

There are so many of these songs for you to sing along and teach your child to count. Have Fun!

* Stories

Songs are not the only ones with numbers, many of the children stories like Three little pigs, Goldilocks and the Three bears and many more other stories have numbers attached to them. Bring your child to the library and have a game out of finding books with numbers in their title, then read the stories while encouraging your child to count the pictures, for example the bears, beds or bowls of porridge etc from the Goldilocks story.

* Everyday objects

The clock, door or building numbers, computer keyboard, and telephones - all of these can be used to teach your child more about numbers and how important and useful they are, in the world around us.

* Food

Cooking is a wonderful way to introduce your child to practical mathematics and is also useful to extend the vocabulary of your child. Children can count baking cases, spoons of sugar or chocolate button decorations and many more. Later, they can use buns or cookies etc, for simple addition and subtraction sums as well as look at weights of food to learn about measurement. While cutting up and sharing out cakes or oranges etc, you could also teach your child about fractions and division.

Games to make Mathematic FUN

* Throwing games - Games which involve throwing a number of objects, such as balls or toys, in a wastepaper basket or box provide good counting practice.

* Counting Trays - Use paper plates for this activity. Write a number on the plate. Provide a pile of dried pasta and show your child how to count the appropriate number onto each plate before she tries.

* Fast Fingers - Ask your child simple addition and subtraction question and ask her to hold up her fingers with the correct answers. When there are more children of the same age group, this game can be played as a challenge, remember to reward all the children with simple gifts like stickers regardless of who answer first or most. The idea is to have fun with maths!

* Dice - You can play lots of games using dice. There are commercially made dice that go up to twenty, or you can make your own dice with higher numbers, shapes or colours on them.

* Dominoes - Play simple dominoes or ask your child to count the spots in the dominoes. You could also play what adds up to, for example, ten with these dominoes. Show your child a domino and ask her to show another domino which when added to yours will become ten, and so forth.

* Cards - Cards with numbers are a versatile tool for teaching your child to count, share and arrange in sequence and so much more while having lots of fun.

* Sports - watch and play sports with your child that involves scoring, timing, counting and measurement.

* Crafts - do crafts such as simple origami to create awareness for angels, shapes and fractions.

* Board games - Board games such as Snake and ladder allows your child to practice counting and doing calculations.

These are just some ideas, let your creative juices flow and HAVE FUN WITH MATHEMATICS.

If you have other suggestions please feel free to comment so that I can add on to this post.

Taking care of the elderly

2008-02-08T17:22:00.001+08:00

Recently one of my cousin sisters was afflicted with stroke. She is now partially paralyzed and is unable to talk or move her left limbs. She has been discharged from the hospital and is now being taken care of by one of her daughters at her home.

The elderly as well as people who are afflicted by strokes or other illness which have made them immobilized or dependant on others need special care and attention.

Although doctors will explain and help out as much as possible, it is still frustrating as you do not receive comprehensive information on how to take care of your loved ones in these kinds of situations.

For comprehensive information on long - term care for your loved ones, do check out Bettercaring.com

Bettercaring.com is a very user friendly site where information on long-term care such as caring at home, residential care as well as information about finance is provided.

For residents of the United Kingdom, you can make use of their search facility provided in their website to check out about registered UK nursing homes. You can make use of their reviews and tips given to make a better informed decision when choosing a home care solution for your loved ones.

Bettercaring.com provides a discussion forum where you can contribute your insights as well as get advice and tips from others who are in the same or similar situation as you. Some of the forum topic that I found to be of interest include: Experience of care homes, good, bad or indifferent, Health issues and continuing to live a full life as well as discussion of your experience of caring for someone with dementia.

You can also read up on true and real life stories of the elderly and how they are coping. As I was browsing through the site, I came across many interesting articles including, "What is the ideal care home?"

For a round-up of news involving nursing home, carers and health issues, you could check out News in Brief under News and Comment.

Games to engage your preschooler

2008-02-05T19:38:00.001+08:00

Do you want to entertain, engage and educate your child through games, yet don't want to pay through the roof for expansive games and equipment, do check out these games. They use everyday household products but do not lag in any way to expansive and branded games. All you need is patience and time to create these games. Then you can have hours of fun with your preschoolers.

Cereal Box City

Required :

Empty food boxes
Paper
Decorating Materials
Safety scissors

Optional :

Felt
cotton
cups
clay

Cereal boxes (as well as any rectangular cardboard food boxes) make marvelous toy buildings. Other "prefab" buildings reside in the fridge. Paper cream containers are great as houses while milk cartons make ready buildings with sloping roofs.

To decorate the buildings, wrap the boxes in paper bags or construction paper. Then draw windows, doors, and other features. Alternatively, you could cut doors and windows leaving a flap.

Your budding architects can become city planners by drawing streets and city blocks on a large piece of paper, then placing the food box buildings on the map.

Develop the landscape of this wonderful city by making shrubs out of cotton, grass out of green felt, street lights out of cotton swabs, and trees out of paper cups, clay and unsharpened pencils.

Add a few toy cars and toy buses for a wonderful and imaginative trip to town. Lets pretend can be lots of fun yet educational as you explore the "town" together with your child. Discovering the bakery, school, church etc.

Clock Time

Required :

Clock
Paper
Magazine pictures of daily activities
glue or tape
Crayons or markers

Optional :
Cardboard, brad, or pipe cleaner

Here's a way to introduce your young child to the idea of clock time.

Use a real clock, or make one out of cardboard using a brad or pipe cleaner to affix the hands so that they are snug, but still movable.

Now set the clock at whatever time your child gets up. Move the little hand around the clock, and talk about the kinds of things she does at various times in a typical day.

Look for magazine pictures that show or represent the activities you have been discussing. For example, a picture of cereal box could mean breakfast time and so on. Affix them to the clock near the appropriate hour.

Make learning about time fun, entertaining and exciting.

Colour Blots

Required :

Paper
Tempera paint
Pen. pencil or crayons

Fold a piece of paper in half, then open it up. Place various pools of tempera paint on one side of the crease. Now fold the paper in half again, so that paint smears. When you unfold the paper, you will find all sorts of interesting patterns and colours.

What does your child see in those patterns? If it is a face or an animal track, draw the outline or it could be butterfly, then draw the outline of the wings and body.

Of course, you may not want to draw anything at all - the colour blots may speak for themselves. Red Panthers? Purple cookies? Blue suns? Anything is possible once you let your imagination go to work. Remember - Have Fun!

Colour Mixing - Do you want to have more fun with colours, here's how.

Required :

Food colouring
Containers
Eye droppers
Turkey baster
Spoon
Measuring cups

Here is a quick and safe way to turn your kitchen into a junior chem. lab!

Provide containers of various sizes, bottle colouing and various "lab" implements such as eye droppers, measuring cups, spoons and so on. Let your kids know that they only need a drop or two of coloring - don't let them pour the entire bottle in their excitement. It would be better if the adult added the different colouring into many containers than asked them to experiment with the coloured water.

The youngest kids will simply enjoy pouring the coloured liquid from container to container. For older kids, you could explain about primary colours and how you can use these 3 colours, RED,BLUE and YELLOW to create a multitude of other colours.

For kids who are about six years old, you could teach the concept of measurement. For example, one cup equals to how many ounces?
You could help your child to prepare a "lab notebook" where she records what happens when, for example, you mix twice as much as blue to red to make purple.

Concentration

Required :

Magazine clippings
Cardboard
Glue

Select a variety of objects from a magazine and cut them out. Try to look out for things that are attractive and fun such as cats, puppies, cakes etc, Glue the pictures onto thin cardboard for strength, and allow them to dry. Cut each picture in half, then spread the picture halves on the table. Mix up the pictures, face down, and arrange them in the rough form of a square.

Each player is allowed to turn over two pieces of cardboard. If the cards match, the player gets to remove them from the playing area. If not the next person takes over. By memorizing where various pieces are located, players have a chance at clearing the board.

Of course, the game can be played solitaire, and th4e number of pieces should be restricted for younger children. With older children, try playing the game under a time limit - that will test their concentration.

Instead of using pictures from magazines, you could use cards such as SNAP or OLD MAID etc. No need to cut into two, as there are 2 pairs of each design.

Cookies you can read

Required :

Molasses
Sugar
Shortening
Milk
Flour
Soda
Spices

ABC cookies are great fun. You can use your own recipe, or try the following; in any case, your child can have fun participating in the cookie making, such as measuring, stirring, rolling etc and the all important eating step too.

First for the adult job of heating and mixing.
Heat 1/2 cup molasses to boiling, then add 1/4 cup sugar, 3 tablespoon shortening, and 1 tablespoon milk.

In a separate bowl, mix 2 cups flour with 1/2 teaspoon of each of the following: baking soda, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves and ginger.

Add the dry ingredients to the molasses mixture and blend well. Roll the dough on a flour-coated surface until its 1/4 inch thick.

Now help your child make alphabet letter from strips of dough, perhaps associating an animal or favorite object with each one.

Kids learning to read can make the letters spell out words. Place the cookies on a buttered cookie sheet and bake them for 5 to 7 minutes at 350 degrees. Allow to cool; serve with milk and eat your p's and q's.

This so fun, your kids are sure to clamor for more baking "Lessons". You could advance to shapes, then to decorating Gingerbread man etc.

Crayon Rubbings

Required :

Coins or keys
Paper
Crayons
Other textured items as required

If you have a coin, a key, a bottle top or any of hundreds of other common household items, you have access to a treasure trove that can be turned into fine art.

Place various coins underneath a sheet of blank paper. Rub the crayon over the surface of the coin, and presto - you have a rubbing of the coin. You can keep it as a picture of cut out the rubbing and use it as "lets pretend" change.

Don't stop with your pockets though - your child can make rubbings of just about anything that has texture and fits under a sheet of paper. Patterned floor tiles, leaves and so many more to have fun with. Do remember to keep your Credit Cards out of sight.

I hope you will have a wonderful learning yet fun time with your children where they learn to explore about colour, time , objects etc. Ignite their imagination through the city scape and treasure trove activities etc. Do remember Learning Can be FUN - just needs your Patience and Involvement.

Planning your Home School Activities

2008-01-26T23:59:00.001+08:00

For parents who have decided to home school their child, the next step would be the planning of the calendar year with the home school activities. Individual lesson plan, weekly, monthly and semestral plans will have to be researched and filled up.

The Jubilee Academy is a nationally recognized accredited curriculum provider. As they provide curriculum for Preschool through 12, online, you will have a reliable and consistent organization to fall back on.

Whenever you have any questions or queries, you need not worry. The Jubilee Academy has support on hand any time, from anywhere, 24/7.
Such a feature is a distinctive advantage that most schools or other educational institutions which function from 9 to 5 are unable to provide.

For a parent who is homeschooling a special needs student or accelerated learner, you can take a look at their Elementary and High School courses to meet your child's specific needs as well as mix and match grade levels according to your homeschooler's individual needs.

For more information on the curriculum activities provided by The Jubilee Academy for the various Educational levels, Click Here

I have highlighted some of the curriculum provided for Preschool Home School Curriculum by The Jubilee Academy.

Their home school lesson plans include lots of interactive and hands-on activities as well as options for weekly field trips.

Preschoolers are captivated by the many fun and dynamic songs, videos and stories.

The academic areas that Jubilee Academy concentrate on for the preschoolers include English, Mathematics, Science, and Social Studies and basic Bible knowledge.

Another advantage is that The Jubilee Academy home school program provides all the course materials that parents need to successfully home school their children.

Multimedia CDs, textbooks, workbooks, and other supplemental home school materials are provided to enhance your child's learning experience.

The Jubilee Academy charges affordable tuition fees and provides the option to pay through their Zero Interest Tuition Plan where you pay a down payment, then 3 instalments. For more details about their tuition fees please Click Here.

PLAY - Demystified

2008-01-24T23:49:00.001+08:00

When I was a child, the only two words that was related to play was indoor and outdoor play. Nowadays, there is a confusing array of jargon involving the word play, such as Free Play, Dramatic Play, Manipulative Play etc., just to name a few.

What to these different types of play involve and how do you make sure your toddler gets her measure of these variety of PLAY?

Well, just read on and apply.

Free Play

Setting your kid loose at the playground or leaving her to raid the toy drawer at home gives her the freedom to choose what and how she wants to play.

Free play helps children learn to take charge of themselves and their time. It is a step towards Independence.

How to encourage Free Play.

* Set aside about 1/2 an hour a day for your child to be on her own devices .

* Give her access to a wide variety of toys and materials.

* Get involved by asking questions or participating in her play.

Dramatic Play

The act of simply pretending to speak into a toy phone and handing it over to your child to encourage her to follow suite is a form of dramatic play.

Through dramatic play, your child acquires an understanding of her environment and learn about social construct.

How to encourage Dramatic play

* Let your child take on the roles of her favourite characters such as Sleeping beauty , little red ridding hood etc.

* Re-enacting a chain of events or scenes from a storybook can be used as a means of allaying your child's fears. For eg., if your child is terrified of going to the dentist, you can role-play the dentist and she can pretend to be the patient. This way sure can give her the reassurance that she needs.

* Provision of props makes dramatic play even more exciting. Apart from buying toys, you can also recycle simple items such as ribbons and empty boxes etc. Remember that your kid should be allowed to play with the materials as creatively as she wishes. For eg. the box that is a house today can turn out to be a bridge tomorrow.

Manipulative Play

This type of play encourages your child to work her fingers and develop her fine motor skills. Provide materials which allow your child to mold with her hands.

Materials such as blocks, doughs sand and water encourage your child to get in touch with nature.

Creative opportunities during bath time for her to explore the properties of water by pouring it into different shapes and sizes.

Have fun with your child by building castles (not in the air) but in the sand.

Social Play

Solitary Play
Children aged between one and two typically play alone even when there are peers around. At this stage, they are occupied with the exploring and are still learning about cause and effect.

Parallel Play
Children above the age of two, become aware of what the other children are doing, but do not make a move to play together. Eventually children are drawn into cooperative activities.

Associative Play
Between 3 and 4 years of age, children begin to engage in associated play. They play in a loosely organised fashion. For eg., a child will act as a monster and start to chase her friend. While some of her friends may run away, there may be one or two who ignore her.

Cooperative Play

When children get together and play towards a common goal, they are engaging in cooperative play. This is where roles are assigned and each child as to play her part. Cooperative play requires negotiation, coordination and teamwork, which are among the social skills that should be harnessed in children. Examples of cooperative play include telematches and boardgames.

Each type of play has a distinct advantage and helps to mold your child into a creative and sociable child. So enjoy playing with your child!

Power Bonding - Tips on how to sneak in extra bonding time with your children.

2008-01-17T09:56:00.001+08:00

There may have been many times when mad overtime schedules and impossible project deadlines preventing working parents from spending time and bonding with their kids as much as they would have wanted.

Here are 10 quick and easy ways for you to sneak in pockets of time to Power bond with your children.

Sleep Together
Sharing the bedroom with the children gives more opportunities to share the waking and sleeping moments. Giving a bedtime or morning kiss and hug is a good way to foster an affectionate relationship too. Choose 1 night of the week where the kids can sleep together with the parents. For my family we have chosen Friday as the kids get to sleep late on Saturday.

Eat a Meal together

If you usually arrive home late from work than make breakfast the meal where everyone gets together. In our home, as mush as possible, dinner is a meal that is eaten as a family. If you can't arrange to have a dinner together with the rest of your family everyday, at least try to do it about 3 times a week.

Enjoy Car Rides
Whether the journey is to the school or to granny's, you can make use of the car rides as a good way to catch up and enjoy meaningful conversation with your children. For young children, your could tell them a story or sing along to their favourite songs.

Lunchtime Calls
Spare a few minutes during lunch time to call home during your lunch break to find out how your kids are doing. Even if it is just a short call, it lets your child know that you are thinking of them and miss them. Once you make this into a habit, your children will anticipate your calls eagerly everyday.

Leave Notes
Stuff simple notes around the house or into their school bags - little memos to remind them to have their lunch, to thank them for something they have done or an invitation to a family dinner that night etc. Most importantly, notes to make them feel loved.

Live Web Cam
Get a web cam for your computer at home and at work (if your office allows it). This allows you to check in on your tots occasionally. They will be happy to know that you're around (sort of) should they need you.

Do Housework

Make it a point to do family clean - ups together. We choose to do it on alternate Sundays. This is a good time to teach your children about responsibilities and a perfect way to bond through shared activities too. Getting the house clean is the added bonus, of course!

Family Journal
Get an empty scrapbook and start a family journal. Try to input an entry on a daily basis. Leave messages for one another and encourage your child to write in it whenever he has something to tell you. This is a good and indirect way to share feelings and happenings too.

Do Homework
Try to set aside some time each day to help with their schoolwork or just to dabble in some arts and crafts. (Check out my site : Easy Crafts - Fun Projects and Activity Ideas for Children for some fun ideas).
It's important to be involved in your child's schoolwork and not leave it entirely to the tutors and school teachers. Always encourage and motivate your child do do her best and remember to praise her for her efforts even if the results are not up to your expectations.

Introduce Workplace
If you are working on a weekend, you could try to bring your child along to your work place. This gives her an idea of the work that you do. You could make this occasion into a special one by bringing her out to lunch after work.

These are just some ideas that has worked for me and my friends. I hope you will be able to incorporate as many of these ideas as possible into your daily routine so that you will be able to Power Bond with your children.

If you have other ideas that work for you and your family, please feel free to share it by giving me a comment to this post.

Family Matters - Imparting VALUES in young minds

2008-01-14T08:40:00.000+08:00

Every parent wants the best for their child. But besides achieving good grades in school, it's equally vital for children to be equipped with the right values. For example, respect for others, honesty and kindness, just to name a few.

Here are some ways for a parent to help her child grasp and learn about these values.

Building Self - Esteem

For a young child to be socially competent, she must first be confident about herself. Thus, building strong and positive self-esteem is important. A child who feels loved and competent is more likely to have a healthy sense of social and emotional well-being.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

1. Communicate regularly with your child, so that you are fully aware of how she feels and can lend support readily.

2. Recognise your child's abilities and successes. Praise, encourage and celebrate, even for small efforts taken to accomplish a task.

3. Share with them stories about how you / others learnt through mistakes and that it is alright to make mistakes.

4. Help children to recognise and verbalise their feelings; help them to solve problems in a constructive manner.

Showing Kindness

How to tell if a child has a problem showing kindness:

* Does the child show empathy towards others (including animals, plants and other living things in the environment)?

* Does the child take good care of her possessions, and those of others ?

* Is the lack of empathy or care for possessions a deliberate act of the child or due to inability to express it?

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

1. Model behaviours that you wish your children to practise.

2. Help children express their feelings; Guide them in using appropriate words

3. Create suitable opportunities for children to show kindness.

4. Demonstrate kind, non - aggressive methods of communication.

Being Honest

How to tell if a child has a problem being honest:

* Does the child consistently bring home things that do not belong to her?

* Do you constantly end up confused when you try to get a straight answer from her?

* Does the child feel bad about breaking his promises?

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

1.Do not over-react if children exhibit dishonest behaviour. Giving too much attention may actually reinforce that behaviour. The child may become inclined to repeat it as it gets her attention.

2. Be sensitive. On the one hand, children must not think that morally unacceptable conduct is all right; on the other, they shouldn't be frightened to such a degree that they are afraid to admit and discuss it with you.

3. Establish a positive parent - child relationship. Children need to feel safe to be frank, open and honest with their parents.

4. Do not put children in a spot when they are caught lying or stealing.

5. Discuss misbehaviour when you are calm and children don't feel threatened.

A Sense of Responsibility

How to tell if a child lacks a sense of responsibility?

* Does the action truly reflect irresponsibility or is it just a typical childish behaviour.

* Does the child's action upset the home routine? Every child has a tendency to ignore rules.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

1. Provide children with opportunities to be responsible. Allow them the freedom to make decisions and learn form their mistakes.

2. Set appropriate expectations. The expected action or behaviour should match the child's intellectual, physical and emotional abilities.

3. Take time to show children how to do an assigned task correctly. However, focus on what they are learning about responsibility and recognise their efforts.

Resource - From the series of Family Matters, supported by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

How To Teach Your Children Social Skills

2008-01-09T11:50:00.000+08:00

Social skills are important for everyone and the younger the child is, when she learns these skills the more adaptable she is to the environment and the people she will be interacting with.

Many a time, I have seen children squabbling in the playground as to who gets to play the swing or slide etc. when there is a lot of kids wanting to play these games. This is because they are not aware that sharing and taking turns will enable them to have more fun and gain more friends too.

In a multi racial society like Singapore, a child needs to respect others of different race, religion and culture. This is another important aspect of social skills. Laughing or smirking at other attire or behaviour because they are of different culture would cause clashes between these children.

Thus, it is essential for the parent to teach her children Social skills.

Alvin Poh who is the founder of Learning Champ has written an article titled How To Teach Your Children Social Skills. I have found the article to be a good guide for parents who wish to teach their children social skills

How To Teach Your Children Social Skills

As our children grow, they will be going to schools and interacting with lots of different people other. For example, friends and teachers. Hence it is necessary to teach them the social skills that enable them to get along with others, work as part of a group, follow rules, make and keeps friends and act with confidence. These abilities also help our children to build good character.

Families have a profound influence on the early development of our children social abilities and skills. If they enjoy love, warming relationship with parents, siblings, grandparents and other relationships, they will have a strong foundation in form good relationship with other people. They will be more understanding about how other people feel and have the ability to treat other the way they want and how they should be treated by others.

To help children acquire the basic social behavior, parents must set the proper expectation, rules, rewards and punishment associated with those rules and more important set themselves as good examples for their children. Your children learn by observing what you as their parents do and how you behave in your daily life - e.g. how you treat and interact with your spouse, eldest and friends. As they begin interact with others, your kids will model their behavior on actions he has witnessed at home.

Following are some of the important social skills that you will want to work with your children:

Learning that Others Have Their Own Views and Feelings
I have seen adults hold very strong views about certainly things and they try to impose their views onto others. This often results in tension and uneasiness in the relationship. It is not something healthy.

It is important for parents to teach their children from young that others have their own opinions and feelings. They need to learn to respect them and know that it is perfectly okay for people to have different views. With this understanding, children can then begin to develop empathy - the ability to discern and share another's feelings or ideas. It is the ability to put themselves into some else's shoe that make them willing to share, take turns, cooperate and treat their friends with kindness and respect.

Preschoolers usually do not have a clear sense of empathy. However you can help them begin to understand by talking about other people's thoughts and feelings. At home, I teach my preschool daughter empathy by asking her question such as:

"How do you think Sarah will feel if someone takes her toys without asking her permission?"

"How mummy and daddy will feel if you hurt yourself?"

"How would you feel if none of your friend didn't ask you to join them when they are playing?"

Often she will provide a sensible answer and follow by the proper action. When parents practice these often and long enough with their children, they will form the habit of being empathetic and sensible children who are welcome and love by their friends.

Recognize Rules
We need to help our children know that they are certain rules of proper social behaviors. For example, no hitting of others, no cutting of queue, wait for others to finish talking before they can talk, ask for permission if they want to take something that doesn't belong to them etc.

Sharing
Sharing does not come automatically to most young children. Often they learn this skill by observing their parents.

I know of some parents who in general are not very generous with their things. And their young children demonstrate this selfish characteristic very clearly when they interact with their playmate. For example, I have observe some of children refusing to share their toys when they are playing with their friends, quickly and quietly keep all the good things for themselves and leave the not so good ones for their friends etc - they all have not so generous parents.

If we want to make friends and build good relationship with others, we need to be generous. Generosity does not have to be related to material things; it can be sharing of love and care, ideas, knowledge etc. At home, I often share this teaching with my loved ones include our young children

"The more we share, the more we get"

Taking Turns
Taking turn is one form of sharing that requires little children to do something hard - wait. It is important to practice this because there are plenty of turn takings in school - waiting to answer until the teacher calls, waiting for their turn to touch the rabbit in the science concern, waiting for their turn to play with an interesting gadget etc.

Respecting Others' Properties
In school, your kids will be surrounded by many children with their own things such as books, stationary, toys, food etc. They need to learn how to treat their friends' things and handle them with care when their friends lend anything to them. And parents must teach their children the proper way of making a request if they want to borrow something from others and how to show their appreciation if their wishes are granted. Teach them the proper use of words like "May I...", "please" and "thank you"

Working With Others
Help your children learn to cooperate and help out their friends in schools or when they are in a project team. The best way to teach them at home is to get them to share the work of family chores and housework. Get your children to help you tidy-up up the rooms; help you to clean the table after meals etc. Tell them that they belong to the family and it is important for them to help in keeping the house clean so that everyone can enjoy a good environment. And when they help out, they will have more time from mummy and daddy reading and playing with them - this method works very well in our home.

Being Polite
Children are more apt to get off to a good start in school and be more confident of their own social skills if they learned to treat others with courtesy. Teach your children to say words like "please", "thank you", "yes Sir/ Madam" etc.

Social skills emerge slowly in children. Parents need to persevere in teaching them. Often you'll have to go over rules again and again, talk to your children many times about the right and proper way to behave and treat others. Children need to be guided and reminded and corrected - no matter how well disposed they are.

Article by Alvin Poh, founder of Learning Champ, a parenting wesbite that provides information and resources to parents, who want to help their children develop the important skills and mind set for a brighter future -> http://www.alvinkh.per.sg/learningchamp

7 Universal Laws for Parents of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers

2008-01-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

Parents and children view things in different perspectives. Understanding how your toddler thinks as she grows into a teenager will enhance your relationship with her. The article by Jeff Herring is very insightful and I found it to be useful. These Universal Laws are not new and we may have known some of them and even practice them.

Law No. 2 is difficult to practice because the parent has to put in continuous effort. Yes, being Consistent, Resistant and Persistent with our kids is a full time job (Just like being a Parent)

Law No. 4, that is, Law of mine is very funny but speaks the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

To me what is the most important rule is Law No. 7, The Law of "Solid Walls". This law explains why Law no. 2 is important.

Well, do read up about all the laws governing children and parents and put them into practice.

Parents of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers: 7 Universal Laws by Jeff Herring

1. The Law of the Beast
As parents we need to keep in mind that we are raising our teenager while we raise our toddler. They are essentially the same beast.

2. The Law of CPR
Having little to do with cardiopulminaryresuscitation, the law of CPR states that we need to be Consistent, Resistant and Persistent with our kids.

3. The Law of Words
Our little ones need to be taught to "use their words, not their hands" when dealing with conflicts.

4. The Law of Mine
In the world of a young child everything is mine. If I am playing with it, it's mine. If you are playing with it, it's mine. If I played with it yesterday and go bored with it, and you play with it today, it's mine!

5. The Law of Sharing
It's very important to teach our children to share. At the same time, it's just as important to understand that asking a small child to share their toy is like asking one of us to share our car or house!

6. The Law of the Team
Each parent brings a unique set of skills to the job of parenting. The goal is not so much who is right, but how do we form the best parenting team we can form. As I like to say "we don't have to think alike, we just have to think together."

7. The Law of "Solid Walls"
"Have you ever walked thru a solid wall?" Of course not. But what if one day you tripped into a solid wall and went right through it, unharmed? Wouldn't you be tempted to try it again? It's the same with parenting- when kids get it that mom and dad are "solid walls' when it comes to managing behavior, the less likely they are to try to walk thru you.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Mom, I wet my bed again - The best way to deal with your child' s bed wetting

2007-12-31T20:47:00.000+08:00

What is bed wetting?

The medical term for nighttime bed wetting is enuresis. It is the involuntary discharge of urine by a child who is 5 years old or above. This is the age when he is supposed to be able to control urination.

There are 2 types of enuresis.

1. Primary Enuresis is when the child is bed wetting his bed consistently for the past 6 months

2. Secondary Enuresis is when the child is always dry but has suddenly started wetting his bed again.

Possible Reasons why your child bed wets

* Bladder Development - His bladder may not yet be fully developed or may not have grown as quickly as the rest of the body. It may be too small to hold urine for a full night, or his bladder muscle is not strong enough to hold urine until morning.

* Hormonal - Some children may produce too little of the hormones that slow down the kidney's production of urine at night.

* Heavy Sleeper - Some children sleep so deeply that the urge to urinate does not wake them up.

* Hereditary - Bed wetting often runs in the family, If one or both parents were previous bed wetters, there's 40 to 70% chance that their child will also be a bed wetter.

How to Deal with Bed wetting

Actions for your child

* Avoid drinking liquids with caffeine such as cola and cocoa

* Cut down on chocolate, ice cream and cake at least 4 hours before bedtime

* Make it a habit to visit the bathroom to urinate before sleeping

* Make a chart to record his progress as soon as he starts having dry nights

Actions for Parents

* Take your child to the doctor

* Keep his bed wetting between the two of you

* Show support and encouragement instead of inflicting shame and punishment.

* Listen to your child when he needs to talk about it

* Be mindful of what your child drinks after dinner and help him track of dry nights.

* Wake him up from time to time throughout the night and guide him to the bathroom

Spelling Games - Improve your child's spelling ability through games

2007-12-24T10:19:00.000+08:00

Its the school holidays now and lots of us would have played some games during this holidays. But have you thought of how playing simple games like Monopoly or hide and seek can be used for other than for entertainment value. Do your children have problem with spelling or would you like to improve your child's and your spelling ability?

Well, here is an article by Benetta Strydom that shows us how to have fun and improve your spelling ability through simple spelling games.

The Hide and Seek game is one that my kids love to play. Its a fun game and many players can compete at the same time to come up with the most words based on one given word, for example, "multimillionaire". Usually we have a time limit of 5 minutes within which the players have to write down the most number of words that they can think of.

As for Spelling Game No.4 NAME, SURNAME, ANIMAL, AND CITY/TOWN,
we play a similar game but the criteria are Name, Country, Animal, Things and Fruit. For details about this games as well as more Word Games, do check out my earlier post.

The article by Benetta Strydom .

The following spelling games can be used by parents to reinforce spelling in children:

SPELLING GAME 1: USE BOARD GAMES, SUCH AS MONOPOLY

Play any game that is normally played with dice with the child -- Monopoly, for example. The parent can continue to move her token forward in the normal way by throwing the dice, but the child must orally spell a word to move forward.

To select words that can be used, the parent can use words from the child's schoolwork that he often misspells. She must make word cards of these words. It is best to use not fewer than 20 words and not more than 30. When playing a board game, the same 20-30 words can be used, or if the child already knows how to spell them, other words can be selected. The parent must thoroughly shuffle the word cards, and then put them in a pile upside down on the table between the two (or more) players.

When it is the child's turn to play, the parent must take a word from the top of the pile and then say the word aloud. The child must spell the word. If the child spells the word correctly, he may move his token the same number of spaces as there are letters in the word. For example, for a word of seven letters he may move his token forward seven spaces. The word card is then put aside. If, however, he misspells the word, the parent must show the word to the child, and the child must spell the word aloud three times while looking at the word, and then three times without looking at it. Then the word is put at the bottom of the pile, so that it will come up again later. If the child misspells a word, he may also not move his token for that turn.

SPELLING GAME 2: HIDE AND SEEK GAME

Use the letters of a particular word, and build new words with these letters. For example, if one decides to use the word "difficulty," one would write this word on a piece of paper and put it in front of the child.

The aim of the game is that the child must make a list of all the words he can think of using only the letters of the chosen word. It can also be played as a competition, meaning the parent can play it with the child, and at the end, the one with the largest number of correctly spelled words, wins.

There are always many words that can be formed in this way, and in an indirect manner the spelling of the chosen word is practiced, while many other words are also tested for spelling. A few examples of words that can be formed from the letters of "difficulty" are: if, left, cult, cliff, fifty, duty, etc.

Note that each letter may be used once only. The letter f appears twice in the word "difficulty," and therefore a word like "fifty" is acceptable. "Dull," however, is not acceptable.

Some examples of words to be used: alphabetical; misunderstanding; occasionally; postponement; mayonnaise; multimillionaire; credibility; determination; education; friendship; generosity; hippopotamus.

SPELLING GAME 3: WORD JUMBLES

Another interesting method of practicing spelling is by making word jumbles. The child then has to sort out the confused letters to come up with a word, which he has been taught before.

Words must be selected from the child's schoolwork. Use a piece of paper, and write the word jumble on the paper. For example, if the letters "hergun" are written on the paper, the child must rearrange them to form the word "hunger."

SPELLING GAME 4: NAME, SURNAME, ANIMAL, AND CITY/TOWN

To play this game, the parent and child will both need a piece of paper and a pencil. Write the 26 letters of the alphabet on a piece of paper, and select a letter at random. The parent and the child must now, as fast as they can, write down a name, surname, animal and town that starts with the selected letter. The one that finishes first gives the other party only 5 seconds, before shouting "Stop!" and then all pencils must be put down.

Ten points are awarded for each correctly spelled word. If both parent and child had exactly the same word under one of the headings, for example, both had the same animal, only 5 points will be awarded if the word was correctly spelled.

Say, for instance, the letter "d" was selected:
Names: Douglas, Danny, David.
Surnames: Davis.
Animals: dog, dinosaur, deer.
City/Town: Dallas, Durban.

About The Author
Benetta Strydom holds a B.Occup.Ther. Degree. Visit her online magazine, Learning Disabilities Online, http://www.audiblox2000.com/learning_disabilities/index.htm

I know there is only about 10 before school reopens, so what are you waiting for? Start playing these fun games with your children and prepare them for their school as well!

How to Get Your Children Brand Free

2007-12-04T21:46:00.000+08:00

This article is part of How2Blogger’s Super Sexy Holiday ‘How To’ Contest which you can see at How2Blogger’s ‘How To’ site.

Christmas is just about 3 weeks away and every child whose celebrating Christmas would be getting ready his gift list. As parents, although we'd like to get them all that they want, its simply impossible. Rather than disappointing your kids, having a chat with them about "How Brand isn't everything" is essential.

The following article by Gregory Thomas is very relevant and one every parent should read and try to practice.

How to Get Your Children Brand Free
Those of you that have children know what an excursion to the local mall or supermarket can be like. If you're not careful, this simple trip can easily become a wallet draining experience.
How often have you heard:
"I want Luchables because EVERYONE eats them at lunch!"

"Come on mom, these cool pants only cost $80."

"Dad, everyone has a Playstation II, I need one too!"

"I need 2 sodas and 2 bags of chips everyday!"

Certainly, we as parents want to make our children happy and not deprive them of a delightful childhood, but who's to say that you must give in to every one of your child's requests.

Why must you work twenty overtime hours just so your son can have a new video gaming system? Why must your grocery bill be over $200 just so your children can have the latest cereal, ice-cream, snacks, candies, and sodas available?

Truth About "Brand Names"

Brand names cost money. Quite a bit of money. Especially when you add them up over time. The reasons these brands must charge more money is to cover their enormous advertising and marketing costs.
Since children are constantly bombarded with advertisements on the television and amongst their peers at school, they are most likely going to ask you for these same products.

No one really enjoys telling their children they can't have something they want, however looking at the bigger picture, what lesson are we teaching our kids if we simply give in to their every request? For one, they are not learning the value of money and the role it plays in our lives. Secondly, they are not learning about the importance of conservation and how to properly budget their money.

Learning to budget and save money at an early age will really come in handy especially as they grow older, start driving, and get offered tempting pre-approved credit cards through the mail. If they are not careful and able to budget their money effectively, this new found freedom may drain all the money from their pockets.

Teaching The Importance of Conservation

Not only is this the perfect opportunity to get your children "Brand Free" and away from the expensive, trendy stuff, but it's also the perfect opportunity to teach them the value of money.

Here's one way you can approach this.

Explain to your children that the money you spend on clothes, food, toys, etc, depletes the amount you are able to save for future needs.

Explain that starting today, only the NECESSITIES will be purchased. No more ice cream, chips, soda, candy, lunchables, except maybe on special occasions. Toys and games will need to be earned and will no longer be given away for free. Etc...
For example, you could state that you will only be purchasing Cheerios (or another low priced cereal). If your children want to have Captain Crunch or Cookie Crisp, they will have to buy them using their own money.

Same principal for their lunches. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tuna fish, apples, oranges, carrots, and raisins. If they want Lunchables or some other type of non-nutritious fast food, they will have to buy it with their own money.
Soon, you will have your child(ren) deciding "Is a Quarter Pounder Meal worth $4.50 out of my savings?" or "Do I really need that new video game that cost $50?".

This "brand free" approach can be applied to all other shopping areas aside from the supermarket example.

When you are shopping for clothes, ONLY buy the necessities. Ignore the most expensive and most popular items. Only buy what you, or the children, absolutely need, ignore all the rest.

Regarding toys and games, you can make it so that your children ONLY get "free" toys on Christmas and their birthdays. If they want something additional, they must purchase the item with their own money.

Taking These Ideas One Step Further
Once you have inspired your children to participate in this money saving, "brand free" lifestyle, it's time to MOTIVATE them to help increase their success.

As with everything in life, having a goal to strive for greatly increases the probability of success.

Goals help us stay focused on the task at hand. Goals help the individual strive for something tangible that's meaningful or important to them.

A runner's goal may be to shave 10 seconds off their lap time. This runner will then practice, workout, and time themselves, striving to run a lap 10 seconds faster than before.

In our "brand free" exercise, you may want to come up with a goal that you and your children can strive towards. For example, you could establish a short term goal that states, if your children can eat healthy and not ask for any "brand name stuff" for two months, you will take them to any movie they want to see.

Here are some more ideas for the various goal ranges:
Short Term: 1-3 months
picnic, trip to beach, movie of their choice
Medium Range: 3-8 months
new game, doll house, Chuck-E-Cheese trip
Long Term: 8-12 months
Disneyland trip, Water Theme park, day at the carnival

Sticking To Your Plan
Regardless what your decide to implement, remember that this is your plan. You are the parent, so you decide what's best for your children. Don't take any negative remarks or any bad mouthing from your kids in regards to this new lifestyle. Stick with it!

Just keep in mind that these exercises and lessons will benefit your children in the long run regardless of what they may think of it at the moment.

Best wishes teaching your children to be "brand free" and money conscious.

Gregory Thomas has been writing effective money-saving tips for SavingSecrets.com for over six years. Hop on over and you'll find FREE money-saving articles, a monthly newsletter, and even a FREE Ebook download just for stopping by! http://www.SavingSecrets.com

How to Study Smarter, Not Harder

2007-12-02T01:27:00.000+08:00

This article is part of How2Blogger’s Super Sexy Holiday ‘How To’ Contest which you can see at How2Blogger’s ‘How To’ site.

By sheer coincidence as I was preparing this post I realise I could also enter this post into the above mentioned contest. (Although the original article is not written by me, I have the right to post it)

My eldest son will be starting Secondary 2 next year. It's an important year for him as he will placed in different streams of course based on his end of year performance (2008). If he wants to study Science stream he has to perk up and start studying. (There is only one class available for Science).

Although many children do put in lots of effort and time and study hard the end result is very disappointing to them. There is a solution - Study Smart Not Hard

Here is an article by Michael Grose who is The Parent Coach.
Its full of practical advice which makes one thing - Hey, why didn't I think of that. So here's to Smart Study Method!

Study Skills - Help Young People Study Smarter, Not Harder

Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and effectively. By knowing how to study students maximize their time, improve their learning and also reduce stress. Research indicates that successful students follow smart study habits to maximize their effectiveness.

Here are eight smart study habits you can help your secondary school student develop at home:

1. Listen carefully when assignments are given at school. Your student should be aware of what each assignment requires and what teachers expect. Careful listening is an often-neglected study skill.

2. Study at a suitable time. Students need to set aside regular time within their most productive hours.

3. Choose a study area free from distractions. Studying smart requires concentration so encourage your student to eliminate distractions such as telephones, television and loud music.

4. Review the day's work. This enables a student to recall what was done and plan ahead.

5. Allot time for each task. Set aside short periods for study that require your young person to concentrate better and reduce the chance of boredom.

6. Complete one assignment or task at a time. It helps sometimes if a student completes easier tasks first that will allow time for the harder ones. This also helps prevent the feeling of being overwhelmed with work.

7. Take regular short breaks to renew energy. The habit of taking a break helps productivity, but a break should last no more than five minutes.

8. Review completed work periodically. Check over the work you have done to check for errors and omissions.

9. Review each subject periodically so that you stay on top of concepts taught. Allocate a subject a day to review for five or ten minutes each day.

10. Ask for help if needed. Successful students have a habit of using the help and assistance that teachers and other adults offer.

Encourage these smart study skills to become habits rather than activities that young people do once in a while. It is their consistency that makes them such a potent force for young students.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

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Picky Eaters

2007-11-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

My younger son who is now 7 years old was an extreme picky eater. Until he turned 5, he basically ate plain rice with fried chicken, egg, potato or nuggets etc. We are Indians and spice is a necessity in our meals. So I was like - What wrong with this kid?
The secret to the change in his eating habit was a bribe. His father expressly told him if he didn't start eating curry, he wouldn't get to play X-Box. It worked! Now he has no problem with eating spicy food. So I can now breathe a sigh of relief as I no longer have to worry about what to give him when we attend a wedding, party or relative houses etc.

Having Picky Eaters in our homes can be frustrating. So I like to share this article that I have come across.

Picky Eaters - The Dawn of Understanding

"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television." (Erma Bombeck, 1927-1996)

Once upon a time not so very long ago, you probably envisioned that your children would be good, healthy eaters while growing up. Naturally, they would like everything you placed before them on the dinner table, and would beg for seconds and sometimes thirds. However, because you are reading this article, that lovely bubble has most likely popped and disintegrated into the mess you may find yourself cleaning off the floor, table, or wherever your delicious entrees happen to land thanks to your picky eaters.

Keeping up with your child's picky eating preferences can be frustrating, especially when one week he or she will only eat peanut-butter sandwiches, and the next cheese-covered French fries. Then, when he or she develops the nasty habit of putting catsup on everything - including ice cream ? you may think you have reached the ultimate level of gross-out.

Do not despair because eventually your picky eater child will become bored with that food of choice and move on to something else!

Many children undergo a period of highly selective eating, commonly referred to as "picky eaters." The reality is that all children (not just what you might consider a picky eater child) do not have the same taste buds as adults. Instead, their palates are undeveloped and may be more sensitive to different textures, flavors, and spices.

As children grow older, their tastes literally change, expanding to include more foods, but not always. When this does not happen, clever picky eater coping strategies are needed.

Many explanations exist for children's unusual picky eating habits that bypass biological and developmental reasons. Today, you will discover numerous forms of public awareness and understanding about picky eaters. In fact, discussion forums and clubs devoted to the mysteries of picky eaters, along with what makes these folks tick are everywhere. We are not just talking about kids, but also adults who grew up as picky eaters and now find themselves in this exclusive category as they struggle with their unique appetites.

Remember, when it comes to picky eaters, "unique" is the keyword. Your picky eater child may have a different palate, but he or she is not strange, weird, or even unusual. A variety of reasons could account for his or her taste buds being apart from other children.

If you would like to learn more about the reasons certain kids are picky eaters or discover some great tasting and easy to prepare picky eater recipes then visit http://mypickyeater.com

Learn step-by-step how to successfully cope with Picky Eaters with Help There is a Picky Eater in The House! Full of Proven Strategies and Great Picky Eater Recipes that are Guaranteed to Help. http://www.mypickyeater.com

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The Big Bully - Tips to prevent Bullying

2007-11-15T12:19:00.000+08:00

My younger son is seven years old and has just completed primary 1. He has come home and mentioned that his classmates do not want to friend him and also that he doesn't like the group that he has been assigned to as the members are not friendly towards him.
He is a very sociable child, who can approach other kids in the playground and make friends very easily. Thus I was quite surprised that he has very few friends among his classmates. Although this seems like a very small incident, it is also a form of bullying.

Here is an insightful article by Derek and Gail Randel M.D where they give us tips to prevent bullying. Hope you will benefit from this article too.

If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parents

Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes school. For a fourth grader, this does not sound right. The reason Keith dislikes school though does not have anything to do with academics. Keith is being bullied before school, at school, and on the school bus. Who can blame him for not wanting
to go into that environment?

The basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Bullying involves crossing into one's space without permission.

Isn't bullying just something that happens to all children and we're just making a fuss over this? The children will get over it, right? Shouldn't we tell Keith to grow up and handle it? Wrong. Bullying happens to far too many children and adults shouldn't be ignoring it.

WHAT CAN A PARENT DO?

If Keith is being bullied and he is not reporting it to his parents then there are some very important questions to address.
· Why wouldn't he tell his parents?
· What message have Keith's parents sent to him about bullies?
· Does Keith's parents have a history of dismissing what he says?
· Possibly Keith's parents have had a habit of getting too involved in solving his problems.

Tips for parents:
· Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents to you.
· Validate your child's feelings. It is normal for your child to feel hurt, sad, and angry.
· Ask your child how he/she has tried to stop the bullying. Asking
questions is a wonderful way to have your child do the thinking.
· Ask how is he/she going to solve this. We want the child to do the
thinking before we jump in. See how many options he can come up with.
· Coach your child in alternatives. Ideally the best solution is having your child solve this without anyone interfering. Most of the time unfortunately, this isn't possible. Share these strategies: avoidance is often an excellent strategy, playing in a different place, play a different game, stay near a supervisor, look for new friends, join social activities outside of school.
· Talk with your child's teacher. Make sure they are aware of what is going on.
· Encourage your child to seek help from other school personnel.
· Volunteer to help supervise activities at school.
· Do not ignore your child's reports. Ignoring them sends the wrong
message.
· Do not confront the bully or the bullies' family.
· Teach your child how to defend him or herself.
· Teach self-respect.
· Give numerous positive comments to your child.
· Avoid labeling or name-calling.
· Let your child know it is okay to express their anger. There are
positive and negative ways to express anger, we want to teach and model the positive ways.
· Let your children stand up to you now and then. It makes it more
likely they will stand up to a bully.
· Stress the importance of body language.
· Teach your child to use 'I' statements.
· Teach positive self-talk.
· Teach how to use humor, 'out crazy' them. For example, if the bully says to Keith, "Hey, boy you're ugly." Keith can respond in a couple different ways:
"Thanks for sharing"
"Yes, I know, I always have been"
"Yes, today's lunch was disgusting" then walk away.

There is many other aspects of bullying to look at: Why your child is the victim, why people bully, what you child can do if he/she is bullied, signs your child is being bullied, what the schools should be doing, handling the school bus issues. All of these are addressed in The Shameful Epidemic, ? How to protect your child from bullies and school violence.
Visit www.stoppingschoolviolence.com to learn what is possible. There are solutions.

Derek and Gail Randel M.D. are parent coaches who have customized programs
for corporations, schools, and parent groups. They can be reached at Parent Smart from the
Heart, 1-866-89-SMART, www.parentsmartfromtheheart.com , www.stoppingschoolviolence.com or
info@randelconsulting.com

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Encouraging Your Child to Write

2007-11-09T14:45:00.000+08:00

During my generation, that is, when I was a child, most parents would have encouraged their kids to become Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Teachers etc. Nowadays, there's a shift in the mentality. I know of lots of parents who want their kids to become computer programmers, Researchers (OF DNA, Cloning etc), Professional sportsmen (Golf, Tennis). These are some jobs where the moneys' rolling in. Well, I for one, would like one of my kids to be an Aurthur. NO, Not just an author. Best seller or Booker Price winner. (One can always dream right - so why not dream Really High)

Before anyone can become a fantastic writer, they must develop a love for writing. I came across this article on how to encourage our kids to write well. So, for all hopeful parents, do read on and get your child to follow what's recommended below. Happy reading :)

How in the world do you get your child to write? This is the battle cry of many parents. A lot of imagination, with a little bribery (or praise) is all you need to get your child writing. We'll supply the imagination. The praise and bribery is all up to you.

Grocery List: Enlist your child's help in making the grocery list. Walk around the kitchen, naming things you need from the store. Ask your child to write everything down. Your child can also suggest foods you might need from the store and he can add those, too.

Old Checks: If you've recently switched banks and have checks that need to be destroyed, first let your child play with them. Give him some envelopes and he can pretend to pay bills -- while getting him to do some writing. Of course, destroy the checks afterwards. If you do not have checks available, you can just give your child some blank pieces of paper and he can make his own checks.

Cards: If your child is interested in Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh cards, then give him some index cards cut in half and have him design his own cards. Encourage your child to give the characters names and special abilities on their cards.
Fictional Journal: Sometimes it is hard for children to write in a journal. What is there to write about? Instead of a standard journal, give your child a fictional journal. He or she can pretend to be anything they'd like to be and write a journal as that person. Your child could write from the perspective of an Astronaut discovering a new planet, Prince or Princess on an Adventure, Archaeologist finding a new species of Dinosaur, Famous Athlete, President of a Country, Passenger on the Titanic. Your child could write from the perspective something instead of someone, a mailbox, an animal, a pen. The possibilities are endless.

Letter-writing: Have your child write a letter to Santa, the Easter bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. Or, your child could write to their favorite athlete, fictional character, or movie star.
Alphabet Game: Take a piece of paper and write the letters A-Z in the left column. Then, choose a category from the following or make up one of your own. Vegetables, Fruits, Animals, Musical Instruments. For older children, the categories can be narrower and more difficult, like Countries, Characters in Literature, Presidents, etc. Set a timer and you and your child both list as many of the items in the category as you can for each letter. The trick at the end is that you have to cross off anything on your list that your child has listed. (for instance, if you both have "apple" for an "a" fruit, then the parent crosses theirs off.) Whoever has the most words wins.

Character Game: Tell your child to pick a character from a book or movie that he's familiar with, and you do the same. Then, ask several questions and you each write the answers to the questions on a piece of paper. When you've finished asking the questions, then have your child read the answers and try to guess who he was pretending to be. You do the same and see if your child can guess who you were. Whether you are pretending to be Peter Pan or Shrek, you and your child will have fun and your child won't even realize he's practicing his writing!

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All about Children

2007-10-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

Child Facts

Children in need

Poverty affects about 1 billion children or 1 in 2 children worldwide. Most of them live in developing countries, where 1 in 3 do not have proper shelter, 1 in 5 have no access to safe water and 1 in 7 have no access to health care services.

Hunger is the most extreme form of poverty, where families are unable to provide for basic needs for food. Famine or starvation may spring to mind, but hunger can also take the form of under-nourishment as well as vitamin and mineral deficiencies. The lack of nutrition can in turn lead to stunted growth, less energy, slow thinking and an increased risk of illness.

Education is something that most of us take for granted. But in poor countries, where shelter, safety and food may be hard enough to come by, going to school sometimes takes a back seat. About 80 million children around the world do not have basic primary education, many of them whom are girls.

Web Fun for Kids
Here is a list of web sites that I have found useful to educate and entertain my kids. Some are more suitable for younger kids, while others are for school going kids.
If you know of other useful sites do feel free to share it with me by submitting a comment to this post.

www.kids.nationalgeographic.com - The National Geographic for kids. Learn about the world around us and all its wonderful creatures through games and quizzes and other activities.

www.crayola.com - Perfect for an afternoon of creativity.
There are colouring pages and lots of simple yet creative craft ideas. Try digi-colour for super on-line drawings that you can print too.

www.sesameworkshop.org - A Fun way to Introduce Alphabets to Kids.
The Sesamestreet Street muppets star in a wide variety of fun educational games centred around the alphabet, numbers, sorting and matching.

www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies - Based on many of the UK children programs.
Children can have lots of fun activities like songs, stories and rhymes with their favourite characters like Tweenies, Little Robots, 64 Zoo lane, Fireman Sam and many others.

www.funbrain.com - online educational games for kids of all ages. (math, grammar, science, spell, history)
- Playground - for young kids to increase their hand-eyes co-ordination, matching of colours and shapes and many more fun activities
-Math Arcade - For Fun with Maths
-Plural Girls - For older kids to test their ability to spell plural forms of words.

www.kidsknowit.com - Free educational Websites For the young, and the young at heart. Fun and educational games, activities, worksheets, free online classes, and much much more, make learning fun.

Child Achievers - Be Inspired by these kids
# At 10, Tatum O'Neal was and still is the youngest person ot win an Oscar. Her supporting role in the movie "Paper Moon" in 1974, gained her the coveted Academy Award.

# Carlos Blanco from Spain was only 11 when he was admitted to the Spanish Association of Egyptology in 1997.

# In 1981, mathematics whiz Ruth Lawrence from England was the youngest person to enter Oxford University at age 11.

# Malaysian 4 year old, Kam Su-Sze raised RM33,000 for UNICHEF in 2005, through the sale of postcards featuring her original artwork. Following her own family's escape from the tsunami in Phuket in 2004, she decided to help other less fortunate children.

# In 1998,Tara Lipinski at age 15 won the ladies’ figure skating gold medal. She is the youngest gold medalist in Olympic Winter Games history. She began skating on wheels before ice and won a regional roller skating title in New Jersey at age 5. Took to the ice at age 6 and six years later became the youngest athlete to win a medal at the now-defunct U.S. Olympic Festival, when she captured gold

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Teaching Pre-schoolers Logical Thinking

2007-10-26T08:03:00.000+08:00

What is Logic?
Logical Thinking Skills include classifying objects, recognising patterns, showing awareness of time and consequence, the ability to distinguish right from wrong, and make deductions based on evidence.
This skills are highly crucial to the development of a child.

Training your child in learning to make the right decision could affect the choices that he makes in life as he grows older. For eg., using logic, a child will realise that he should study for the exams instead of playing computer games when the exams are looming ahead. Thus the ability to understand action and consequence will mean choosing the most logical option of studying instead of playing.

At the pre-school age however, the child's ability to think logically is still limited. This is the age when your child is beginning to learn how to reason, but there will still be some aspect of everyday life that continues to bewilder him.

When water is transferred from a tall glass into a mug, a child will be confused as to why the amount of water appears to be lesser in the broader and shorter mug. Another example is when the parent gets irritated with the loud Whopping of small kids playing. As far as they are concerned they are having the time of their life, so why is Mum asking us to play quietly?

By teaching logic, you teach children how to think for themselves and find easier ways to sort out problems.

The ability to reason inevitably gives rise to the need to ask plenty of question. It is no wonder then, the pre-schoolers are particularly inquisitive and want to know all the whys, whats and hows. Thus its important for you to be patient with your child and be willing to explain things in simple terms so that he can understand.

Children learn better when all their senses are involved. They need to examine, touch and play with objects.

Developing logical thinking is best done with fun activities such as sing along sessions and games involving role-play.

Here are some ideas on how to encourage your child's Thinking Skills.

Supermarket Cashier - Teaches him to count objects and money.

Get artistic - Provide a large selection of crayons, pencils, markers and different kinds of coloured paper so that he is encouraged to develop his imagination and his thinking mind.

Measure up - To teach your child the concept of measurement, use pieces of string. Show your kids how to measure and compare the lengths of different objects; encourage them to think of other ways of measuring items.

Sink or float - Fill a tub with water and give your child a variety of objects to experiment with. Make it a game to see if he can predict whether the object will sink or float.

Share chores - Together, create picture charts for the chores and activities you would like your child to help out in the house. These will help him understand the concept of responsibility and cooperation.

Play pretend - The age old children's game of Doctor and Let's have tea, may be more valuable than you think. These role-playing activities help develop a thinking mind and grow a child's imagination. So give your child a chest of different clothes and accessories so that he can pretend to be a sailor, police etc.

Garden - Teach your child a little about nature by growing a green bean plant. Kids love to watch plants grow and gardening teaches consequences, responsibility and concepts about life.

Go on field trips - So that your child learns from seeing and doing first hand. Zoos, pet farms, vegetable gardens and markets are some example of fun learning trips.

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Quirky Rules to discipline Children

2007-10-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

Once I read from a parenting magazine about Quirky Rules that work. The rules that I too follow are:

1)I can't understand you when you speak like that -
this rule enables and encourages to stop the whining, screaming and general rudeness of tantrum making children.
Whenever your child orders (rather that ask or request) you to do something, whines or otherwise speaks to you in a way you don't like - whisper this " I can't understand you when you speak like that". Always calmly repeat this instead of raising your voice.
As the child who is whining or being rude is trying to seek attention, following this rule makes sure that attention is not given for bad behavior.

2) There's no such thing as boredom - is another rule that I also use. This way you prevent your child from saying " I'm bored", thus you teach her to entertain herself. When you tell your child "There's no such things as boredom, only failure of imagination or only mental laziness", now the burden of amusing herself lands directly on herself, which is precisely where you want it.
As your child learns how to entertain herself, there's truly no such thing as boredom. And that's a gift that will last all her life.

The following list some of the other quirky rules that some parents uses to disciplining their kids.

3)You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work too - This rule will enable you to get your child to help with your chores or stop bugging you while you do your chores.
Lets say you are folding clothes and your child wants her missing toy to be found and wants you to help, you then tell her "Help me with my chores so that we can finish it up faster together, than I'll help to find your toy". If she chose not to help with the folding than continue doing your chores. Only once your are done with your chores should you help her.
As kids like to spend as much time with their parents as possible, they'll realise that even helping Mom with her chores means spending time with her!

4) I don't work past 8 pm - this rule enables you to establish regular bedtimes and time off for you.
Tell your child that the govt. has set up a new rule that states that you are no longer allowed to do any kind of mom jobs past 8 pm in the evening.
(Would work better with younger children as they can be easily impressed and would not argue back with you that there's no such law.)
This rule means that the parent will no longer be able to read books, play games, listen to everyone's daily happenings, give bath - yeah the whole mother package - after the set time.
Be firm, act as if it is out of you hands. ( Similar to Cinderella and Midnight).
Now that your child knows that after say, 8pm you will not be free, she will rush to get ready for bed so that she can spend time to read book with you etc.

Do you know of other Quirky Rules that work for you. DO share it with me by submitting a comment so that I can link to you in this post.

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Save the Earth

2007-10-16T18:00:00.000+08:00

As parents, its important that we teach our children while they are young about the need to Save The Earth through the 3 Rs: Reduce, Reuse & Recycle.

Only when the next generation is made aware about the environmental issues will they be able to play a part in Saving the Earth.

Reduce - Waste minimisation is the process and the policy of reducing the amount of waste produced by a person or a society. Waste minimisation is also strongly related to efforts to minimise resource and energy use. For the same commercial output, usually the fewer materials are used, the less waste is produced.

Reuse is using an item more than once. This includes conventional reuse where the item is used again for the same function, and new-life reuse where it is used for a new function.

Recycling is the reprocessing of materials into new products. Recycling generally prevents the waste of potentially useful materials, reduces the consumption of raw materials and reduces energy usage, and hence greenhouse gas emissions.

Remember to apply what you teach into your daily life so that you can be a role model for your child to follow.

Here are some examples of putting the 3 Rs into practice in our daily lives.

1. Buy environmentally friendly products. (Show the symbol in the package so that your child can look out for such products.)

2. Make crafts using recycling household products such as tissue box, toilet roll etc.

3. Save the trees - Use both sides of a paper.
- Use soft copy instead of hard copy whenever
possible.

4. Use clothe bag whenever you go shopping so that you can reduce the usage of plastic bags. Explain to your child how plastic bags cause severe damage to sea creatures such as turtles which suffocate and die.

5. Watch documentaries of "Save the Earth" and explain in simple terms so that your child can understand.

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Easy Ways to make your Vacation trip Smoother.

2007-10-15T07:41:00.000+08:00

When you go on a long trip with small children (or many children, or both), the following tips will help to keep your kids entertained.

Have a "Secret" supply of small games, toys and books. This would allow you to have a good few hours of queit travel. Do reveal new items slowly, one at a time, so as to have an element of surprise and to avoid boredom. If the kids know in advance whats available, they would not be excited or a fight over who gets to play what may also ensue. So take charge and bring along toys and books for each child as well as games that can be played together.

For small kids a bag of colourful pipe cleaners is great for hours of twisty, bendy fun.

A lap tray or clipboard can turn car time into art time. Do bring along paper and washable markers so that by the end of the trip, your child can produce a beautiful card/picture for her grandparent, uncle etc.(Whomever you'll be visiting)

For Older kids, try some word games. See my earlier post "Word Games" posted here at 21/07/07. All you need is just paper and pencil to have hours of fun.

Another way to entertain your children is to bring along a car or portable DVD player and some of your child's favourite DVDs.

Have a sing along session with young kids when you play their favourite songs during the trip.

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Building Your Child's Self-Esteem

2007-10-05T13:08:00.000+08:00

Self esteem is an essential ingredient for a emotionally healthy childhood. We have always heard about the bullies and the bullied. Having a good self esteem will prevent our children from being a bully as well as to seek help when he is being bullied. I came across this great article about building our children's self esteem and I found it to be very useful and informative. Hope you will benefit too. Happy reading!

According to researchers, most children enter school with a good sense of self-esteem (at least as defined by psychologists) and yet leave high school with a poor sense of self-esteem. What happens in those years between starting school and finishing school?
If we are to define self-esteem as "having feelings of worth or value," then people with adequate levels of self-esteem should display a sense of realistic confidence in their abilities and performance. People with low levels of self-esteem would be expected to display feelings of inadequacy, a fear of failure, a sense of being unworthy, and perhaps depression.

It is estimated that 25-35% of children have Learning Disabilities. At least 5% have Attention Disorders. All too many times during the course of their academic careers these children are labeled by teachers (or parents) as being "lazy," or "stupid." Remarks of this type are typically interpreted by the child as, "You're no good," and the self-esteem levels drop.

At least 50% of children will experience the divorce of their parents prior to turning 18 years old. Most children, for whatever reasons too complicated to go into here, will tend to place at least a portion of the blame for the parent's divorce on themselves. Since the parents are typically placed on a pedestal in the eyes of the child, the blame for the divorce cannot be placed on the parents and must be placed elsewhere, most commonly on themselves. This also significantly impacts children's self-esteem levels.

There are other important challenges to maintaining reasonable self-esteem, such as merely being "average" in a world that worships only the good looking, the good athletes, and the well-to-do.

Can too much Self-Esteem be bad for you?
Let me say here and now that inappropriately high levels of self-esteem may be worse that low levels. Levels of self-esteem that are too high lead kids to believe that they are more important than anyone else, and that they should never be frustrated by work or challenges in life. It leads young people to believe that they should always have their way. Inflated levels of self-esteem ultimately discourages children and teens from learning how to work hard, and sometimes leads into criminal behavior. Anti-social and criminal behavior is fueled by the criminal believing that his wants and needs are more important than the needs, wants, or rights of others.

Inflated levels of self-esteem also are directly at odds with the development of one's spirituality and relationship with God. After all, who needs to develop a relationship with God when he believes that he is more important, or intelligent, or more powerful than God? People are cheated in every important aspect of their lives, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, when their sense of self-esteem is inflated.

So how can we instill appropriate levels of self-esteem in our children? Briefly, here are five key thoughts . . .
First, change the way that you look at this area of life from "self-esteem" to "self-confidence." There is a difference as wide as the sea. To "esteem" someone, including one's self, involves feelings of "reverence" or "awe" or "honor" or "glory." Words have meaning. Let's not get carried away with trying to make our kids feel good about themselves by starting to ascribe to them positions of honor normally reserved for Presidents and Kings, and perhaps for God. The majority of our society's problems are caused by people thinking that they are more important than anyone else in the world. This is not something that we really want to encourage in our children, or in ourselves.

Instead we do want to encourage self-confidence. This attribute becomes especially powerful and beautiful when paired with the virtue of self-control. Raise your children to have these two character traits, and you will have wonderful and successful children.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

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Poem for Moms

2007-09-28T13:19:00.000+08:00

Here are some beautiful and meaningful poems for and about moms. Enjoy Reading!

Mother
by Roger J. Robicheau

A Mother’s love, is sure to find
A way to comfort, ease your mind

She knows just how, to build you up
When you’re so down, and can’t look up

You love the way, she makes you feel
Like you’re so special, her ideal

Her thought must start, with God above
To bring such caring, with such love

And as it flows, like gentle rain
It surely helps, when troubles pain

The love from mine, is oh so clear
I only wish, she was still here

Her warming glow, is missed each day
Even though, I seldom say

But she did leave, her gift behind
To help me through, when I may pine

And that’s the feel, known deep inside
Her faith and love, I still confide

Jamie's Puzzle
by Frances E. W. Harper

There was grief within our household
Because of a vacant chair.
Our mother, so loved and precious,
No longer was sitting there.

Our hearts grew heavy with sorrow,
Our eyes with tears were blind,
And little Jamie was wondering,
Why we were left behind.

We had told our little darling,
Of the land of love and light,
Of the saints all crowned with glory,
And enrobed in spotless white.

We said that our precious mother,
Had gone to that land so fair,
To dwell with beautiful angels,
And to be forever there.

But the child was sorely puzzled,
Why dear grandmamma should go
To dwell in a stranger city,
When her children loved her so.

But again the mystic angel
Came with swift and silent tread,
And our sister, Jamie's mother,
Was enrolled among the dead.

To us the mystery deepened,
To Jamie it seemed more clear;

Grandma, he said, must be lonesome,
And mamma has gone to her.

But the question lies unanswered
In our little Jamie's mind,
Why she should go to our mother,
And leave her children behind.

To dwell in that lovely city,
From all that was dear to part,
From children who loved to nestle
So closely around her heart.

Dear child, like you, we are puzzled,
With problems that still remain;
But think in the great hereafter
Their meaning will all be plain.

One and One
by Mary Mapes Dodge

Two little girls are better than one,
Two little boys can double the fun,
Two little birds can build a fine nest,
Two little arms can love mother best.
Two little ponies must go to a span;
Two little pockets has my little man;
Two little eyes to open and close,
Two little ears and one little nose,
Two little elbows, dimpled and sweet,
Two little shoes on two little feet,
Two little lips and one little chin,
Two little cheeks with a rose shut in;
Two little shoulders, chubby and strong,
Two little legs running all day long.
Two little prayers does my darling say,
Twice does he kneel by my side each day,
Two little folded hands, soft and brown,
Two little eyelids cast meekly down,
And two little angels guard him in bed,
"One at the foot, and one at the head."

Check out this site : Stress free kit for moms

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Cultivating good reading habits in our children

2007-09-24T14:49:00.000+08:00

The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When reading and wiring are a regular part of your family's life, you send your child the message that they are enjoyable, valuable and great ways to learn. Here are some ways you can start helping your child:

1.Keep many age appropriate books and other reading materials in your house. If you have the time, schedule weekly or biweekly trips to the library with your child. Take out books for yourself too. Show your child that you value reading and that it is important to you.

2.Start reading to your child at an early stage.
Make reading daily to your infant or toddler part of your daily routine. It doesn't have to be for more than 20 minutes a day. Do it at the same time each day, if you can, so that you both become accustomed to it. Have fun reading to your baby. Choose books with vivid colors and point out images and shapes to your baby. Be animated with your voice and facial expressions.

3.When your child becomes a preschooler, you can start reading for a longer period of time. To help develop your child's critical thinking skills, encourage your child to ask questions or to predict what will happen next in the story. Be enthusiastic about reading. Read the story with expression. Make it more interesting by talking as the characters would talk, making sound effects and using facial expressions and gestures. Encourage your child to do the same.

4.As your child's ability to read develops, let your child pick out a favorite book to read alone. Make time to read the books together. Take turns, with you reading one page or paragraph and your child reading the next. You might also read the parts of different characters in a story. If your child is unsure of the meaning of a word, have your child use the surrounding words or sentences to figure it out. If this doesn't help, just tell your child what the word means and keep reading. Buy a children's dictionary-if possible, one that has pictures next to the words. Help your child get into the habit of looking up unfamiliar or difficult words. The American Heritage Picture Dictionary is great for preschool and early elementary school students.

StarFall.com is a great website for learning to read for pre-kindergarten to second grade. All the learning materials are free. http://www.starfall.com/

If you notice that your child is having some difficulties with reading, get some help for your child. The problem can be related to poor vision or your child might help extra help. Find tutoring services in your neighborhood or online to help your child. Identify if your child is having problems with vocabulary or reading comprehension.

You can get a free reading aptitude test for grades 2-10 at Mind Play.com-http://www.test4free.com/assess.asp

The good news is that no matter how long it takes; most children can learn to read. By working together with your child's teacher and other educational professionals, you can determine if your child has a learning disability or other problem.

As your child gets into middle school and high school, your child will have other distractions and interests. You can continue to help your child by buying books that would be of interest to them.

Other tips on reading well

1. Active reading takes effort. Parents can help their children to cultivate good reading habit by having strict rules that they should never do serious reading while doing other activities such as watching TV or playing with their toys.

2. As much as possible, provide them a conducive reading and learning environment where there are minimum distraction. For example, switch off the TV at home or get other kids to play outside the house when your children are doing serious reading.

3. Do a preview of the book together with your child before he starts the actual reading. These often help him pay better attention and get more out of the textbook reading time. A preview usually takes between 1 to 2 minutes, depending on the volume of information.

To do a preview you:

- scan through the title of each chapter in the content page.
- look at all the headings, subheadings and marked, italic or dark print.
- look at any pictures or illustrations, charts or graphs.
- quickly skim over the passage, reading the first and last paragraph and glancing at the first sentence of every other paragraph.
- close the book and ask your child: what is the main idea and what is the author's purpose.

By doing the preview, your child will get a good general ideas of the materials. If he has a general idea of what the passage is about before he really read it, he will be able to understand and remember the passage better.

For older children, parents should teach them the technique of doing preview so that they can do it by themselves at any time without the help from their parents.

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Parenting Tip from Finding Nemo - Help your child learn independence

2007-09-19T12:17:00.000+08:00

We generally watch lots of cartoons and children movies with our kids and do not realise that some of them have a very meaningful lesson to be learned from them. The message that comes across in Finding Nemo is Help your Child to learn to be Independent.

I believe that this article by Michelle Shelton is very insightful and will be beneficial to us parents. Hope you benefit from reading it.

Did You Get the Hidden Parenting Message in Finding Nemo?

In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the sea turtle, "Dude, how do you know when they are ready?"

This is an interesting question that many parents would like to know. How DO you know when your children are ready to take on tasks for themselves? The only way to know if your children are ready for something is to test them. In the movie you may remember Nemo being in the fish tank and becoming stuck in the air tube, all of the other fish wanted to rescue Nemo from a certain death. All except Gil. Gil could see that Nemo was perfectly capable of getting out of the tube for himself. Nemo on the other hand was told his entire life by his father that he couldn't swim well because he had a bad fin. Nemo promptly relayed this message to Gil. Yet Gil didn't buy it. He could see that Nemo could indeed save himself and he told him so. So what could Nemo do? Nothing. Nothing that is except perform. He had to save himself because he had no other choice. He had to get out of the air tube himself or he would die. When put to the test by Gil, Nemo passed with flying colors. He got himself out of the air tube and quickly realized that he COULD do it himself. Gil instantly gave Nemo the gift of self-accomplishment and confidence that his father had unintentionally robbed Nemo of his entire life.
Children often tell their parents that they can't perform certain tasks because children know that their parents will bail them out. Someone is always selling and someone is always buying. When your children are selling you on what they can't do, are you buying? Or do you sell them on what they CAN do?

As parents we must realize that our children need to be tested in order to grow. We must allow them to fail on the little things and be there to pick them up when they fall. This is how they learn. This is how they grow.

Nemo's Father Taught us Failure is Necessary for Success!

I think the way you know they are ready is to train them to do a task and then teach them why it is important to be able to do it themselves and then turn them lose and allow them some room to fail. That's right, I said fail. My father once told me that failure was necessary for success. "Don't worry about failure," he said, "just make sure you fail forward." In order for children to develop properly we must allow them room to grow and not do everything for them. Anything you do for your children that they can do for themselves will cripple them. I find it interesting that Nemo had a crippled fin and wonder if he was crippled because his father never allowed him to swim very far from home because of the dangers of the ocean. Nemo's father was so overprotective of him that he didn't give him the skills necessary to develop confidence and the life skills he needed to deal with the dangers of the ocean.

This is the type of parenting that creates children that never learn to get themselves out of a jam. These children become very dependent on others to bail them out of every situation. These children grow into dependent adults. Not only do they become extremely dependent on others, they have very little confidence in themselves and their own abilities and often lead a chaotic life.

It is difficult to know when we are being too protective of our children and to know when we must step in and rescue them. I suggest that parents not only train their children how to do something but also give them the "why" behind the training so they instill it in their mind. We must train AND teach them about the world so they can learn to make good decisions when we are not there to bail them out.

Nemo continued...Are You too Protective? If so, what can you do?

When you watch the movie, Finding Nemo, you will notice that Nemo's father protected him from anything that might be potentially dangerous. In doing so, he never taught little Nemo how to deal with the dangers he might face in the world. This would be like never allowing our children to cross the street unless we were with them because a car may hit them. At some point we must train them how to do it and then teach them why it is important to follow this training. Then we simply must trust them enough to allow them to try it on their own.

Perhaps you have been overprotecting your children. How can you change? First ask yourself. Can he do this himself? Is he at the point he can be trained how to do this? Why should he do this himself? This is the only hope of giving your children confidence in their own abilities and making them independent of you. After all, your job as a parent is to teach your children to be independent of you, not dependent on you!

Michelle Shelton and her husband Paul live in Gilbert, Arizona with their five children. Michelle is a full time Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty Southeast Valley and focuses on Arizona Horse Property. You can visit her site at http://www.askmichelleshelton.com or email her at michelleshelton@yahoo.com

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Money management for children - Giving children allowance

2007-09-14T15:18:00.000+08:00

Do you want your child to be financially savvy, then teach him the value of money and grant him allowances. Encourage your child to do extra chores to earn more!. My youngest son generally messages his father to earn a dollar While my daughter always checks out a few stores to compare prices before buying her stationery.

Here are some very valid reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance by Cindy S. Morus .

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance
2. They will learn how to save for the future
3. They will learn that money doesn't "grow on trees"
4. They will appreciate what they have
5. They will learn to make choices and set priorities
6. They may stop nagging you for money
7. There will be less friction in your household
8. They will learn healthy financial behaviors
9. They will learn your values
10. You can teach them that it isn't all "about the money"
11. They will learn how to spend wisely
12. They will be prepared to enter the grown-up world.
13. Allowances will teach your children to be resourceful, independent and unique.
14. An allowance is a "tool to empower your children to avoid commercialism's clutches."
15. You can teach them to avoid the pitfalls of debt
16. You can help them improve their communication skills around money.
17. An allowance now could help them avoid future "marital money chaos"
18. They'll learn the difference between quantity and quality.
19. They'll learn how it feels to make a poor choice and have to live with it.
20. They'll learn how to resist impulses (sometimes, maybe!)
21. They'll learn to appreciate and take care of their things.

Cindy S. Morus (www.phelps-creek.com) is a Certified Financial Recovery Counselor specializing in showing women and their families how to achieve financial well-being and peace of mind.

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Let's beat childhood obesity.

2007-09-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

No one likes to be called fat or made fun of because of their "big" size. This is especially true for our children who are very sensitive and are affected by peer pressure. Both my sons are big framed but my younger one looks plumb and has puffy cheeks while my elder son is more muscular. Many a time, my relatives have pinched his cheeks and his cousin even calls him "Chocolate boy".

As kids these days would rather spend time on the computer than go outside and kick a ball around or ride their bikes, its easy to understand why many of them are plumb. And with all the junk food advertisements aimed at children by the media, us parents definitely have our jobs cut out for us to reduce obesity.

The bottom line is our lifestyles have changed. We don't walk as much as we used to. We eat pre-packaged or fast foods instead of home cooked meals. And what exercise can compete with video games?
Times have definitely changed but that doesn't mean we have to completely give up. It's just a matter of putting some simple measures into place.

Here are some easy tips to ensure your kids develop a life-long healthy lifestyle.

Limited time for non active games and activities.
1. Limit your kids television, computer and video games time. This may not be easy at first, but be persistent. Suggest an activity they can do, or better yet go outside with them and join in. Children learn through example, so if you're all set to go for a bike ride they may just want to join you. Recently we bought a scooter each for my younger daughter and son. So now, they are more excited to race each other rather than fight over who can use the computer!

Family involved food shopping
2. Get your kids involved in the family food shopping. Make a list of healthy foods everyone agrees on and point out the health benefits to your kids. You'll be surprised at how open to eating healthy your kids can be. You don't have to drastically cut out the cakes and cookies altogether, but instead let each child choose one item they can enjoy as a special treat. This teaches kids to learn about moderation and that , yes, they can have cookies or chocolates as treats not as regular food staples. Check out some healthy snacks that fun yet healthy in my other blog: Healthy Yet Yummy Food

Don't super size your kids.
3.Be careful to serve kid appropriate food portions. Remember, if they're not fully satisfied they can simply go back for seconds. Also, teach them to eat slowly and take breaks between mouthfuls to allow the brain to register when it's full.

Teach moderation
4. Try to avoid branding any foods as "bad for you". Instead focus on teaching your kids everything can be enjoyed in moderation. This takes the pressure off them and gets rid of the diet mentality which can set them up for a life of yo-yo dieting.

Have an active lifestyle.
5. Be more active! Simply stated, kids need more activity in their lives. The same goes for all of us, if we eat more calories than we're using up we will gain weight. It's as simple as that. So get out there and make it fun. Try not to use the word "exercise". You want this to be a lifestyle habit not something that has to be done.

Be a positive role model
6. Rather than focusing on changes for your child only, change as a family. Have a family meeting and talk about healthy eating and good nutrition. Explain all the benefits of exercise and let your kids suggest some simple activities you can do together. Start slowly and build up. If you set a good example your kids will eventually follow.

Just remember any change can be difficult at first and you may initially have to put with tears or even temper tantrums, but be persistent. The benefits of a healthy lifestyle will far outweigh any difficulties you may face in getting there. Your kids will thank you for it in the long run....

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How to manage Sibling Rivalry

2007-09-06T10:32:00.000+08:00

It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward others. A moderate spirit of competition is a positive and productive attribute in school and in business. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up in families. The competition between siblings starts when the second child is born. Unfortunately, many parents ignore it and some even make the situation worse.

When occasional fighting becomes a constant series of arguments and fights, it must be dealt with to avoid years of discord and even potential danger. Here are some tips that will help you lessen your frustration over argumentative brothers and sisters and help them learn to get along better.

Equal Amounts of praise for each child
Do your best to offer each of your children equal amounts of praise and attention. This is true if they are competing for your attention or if they are participating in a school or sports activity.

Don't force participation
Encourage your children to participate in activities that they truly enjoy. Don't expect them to always join activities that they must do together or where they will be competing against each other.

Don't show favouritism
Children sometimes perceive that their parents favor one child over the others. While some parents do prefer one child to the others, it is usually not a conscious choice. If your child tells you that you favor his or her sibling, pay attention to your behavior; maybe there is some truth to it. However, if you know you are being fair or if there is a valid reason for treating one child differently, stand firm. Sometimes children use the "favorite child" complaint as a way to make you feel guilty and give them what they want.

Avoid comparison of behavior between siblings
Sometimes one child is more cooperative or better behaved than another. It's normal to compare siblings, (especially when one child performs better in school or games) but it's generally better not to talk about it. Comparing two kids doesn't help improve their behavior; instead, it intensifies the sense of envy and jealousy. A more constructive strategy is to limit your comments to the problem behavior. Always avoid telling one child that his or her sibling does something better.

Family member involvement
Make it a rule that family members may become involved in incidents between siblings only if they actually saw what happened. This keeps people from being manipulated.

Realize that younger children can be the aggressors. Don't automatically rush to their defense.

Remove the toy the siblings are fighting over
If two kids are fighting over a toy, take it away. This discourages them from arguing over who can play with what.

Look at each other in a mirror
When two kids are fighting, make them share a chair and look at each other in a mirror. With all the goofy faces they make in the mirror the disagreement is soon forgotten and they are laughing like best friends.

Assign chores
If the kids continue the fight after a few minutes in the chair, assign them a chore to do. The excess energy they are directing toward each other is soon put to better use setting the table or picking up the toys.

Active Listening technique
Use the Active Listening technique to allow siblings to express their feelings. When kids fight, parents often try to talk children out of their feelings by saying things like "Stop arguing with Tony, Sarah. You know you love your brother." Instead, you could acknowledge the child's feelings by saying, "Sounds like you're pretty upset with Tony." You might be surprised to see that this defuses the emotion and enables Sarah to move on to something else.

Give gifts based on individual needs
When you give things to children, base your choices on their individual needs and interests. If you try to avoid arguments by giving equal gifts to each child, they will inevitably find something about them that is unfair.

Avoid taking sides
When your children are in an argument, avoid taking sides. If you can, encourage them to work out their differences. It is almost impossible to try to determine who started a fight. Even if you know who started the argument, taking sides only makes things worse. If your children learn that you will not enter their minor disagreements, they will have to learn to settle things between themselves.

Time and persistence
You may think that rivalry will stop magically if only you learn to do the right thing. However, learning new behaviors takes a lot of time and persistence.

Address early
It is important to address the issues of sibling rivalry when children are young, because it can intensify and persist as children become adults. It is important not to give up when you feel frustrated. Things may even seem like they are worse before they start to improve. Because of your efforts and persistence, your children will learn how to get along better. That will prepare them to have productive relationships in the future.

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How to End Homework Battles

2007-08-28T07:40:00.000+08:00

As a parent with 3 school going children, I had found that the biggest school year challenge was the difficulty I faced in getting my kids to do homework. My daughter is a very conscientious worker, however, she is easily distracted through phone calls from friends, favorite TV programs etc, such that sometimes she stayed up as late as 12 midnight to do her work before sleeping. This is of course a very bad habit and in the long run, may cause her to fall sick. My elder son was the opposite, almost everyday, he would say that he had no homework. Fortunately, my younger son (so far) will completely all his homework before involving in any recreation activities like watching TV or playing computer games.

With so many other attractive ways for kids to spend their time, getting them to buckle down and complete that extra bit of schoolwork can be like pulling teeth. As with any chore, though, there are strategies you can use to get it done and make it more fun.

1. Make Time for Homework
Fitness gurus have known this for years: you are more likely to stick to an exercise regimen if you do it at the same time everyday and make it an inviolable part of your schedule. The same goes for homework. Don't leave it up in the air as to when homework will be completed. This only ensures that it won't get completed until you have an extended argument with your child about it-usually one hour after bedtime. Instead, sit down with your child and review your family schedule for the upcoming semester. Decide where homework will fit in your daily schedule and make it non-negotiable. It is always helpful to anchor homework time to some other regular activity. Good choices are: directly after school or right before or after dinner. (Scheduling homework in the hour before bedtime is usually not a good practice since your child may be too sleepy to do a good job.)
It is also important to dedicate a set amount of time for homework. This will discourage students from rushing through homework so that they can watch the latest Disney video. What is a reasonable amount of time to spend on homework? That varies with age. Check with your child's teacher. It is generally accepted, though, that First and Second graders should spend about a half hour on homework each night while Third and Fourth graders might need to spend as much as an hour per night.

2. Don't Accept No for an Answer
A common refrain from students is "I finished my homework in school" or "The teacher didn't assign us any homework today." It should not matter that they don't have a specific assignment. Homework is an extension of the learning that occurred that day in school, and what they learned that day can be extended in any number of ways. Students can read silently during their allotted homework time, they can look up information in an encyclopedia to enhance what they are learning in Science or Social Studies, or they can look at flashcards, practice math facts, and test their spelling. This is how to teach your child to be a self-directed learner. You will be giving them a gift to get them in the habit of doing this now. When they are in high school, having this extra study habit will bring them academic success.

3. Establish a Partnership with Teachers
Early in the school year make an effort to get to know your child's teacher. Make an appointment to talk with the teacher in the first few weeks of school, so that you can express your desire to be a good partner in your child's education. She will appreciate it, and you will be one step closer to a smooth school year. Find out what her homework policy is so that you know what to expect. It is also helpful to know how high her standards are, so that you can ensure that your child's homework is acceptable.

4. Provide the Right Environment
Most people's advice on homework is to set up a desk in your child's room and make sure that they have a quiet and distraction-free work environment. This sounds very reasonable, but few people seem to be able to follow this advice. I know many students who instead do their homework on the living room floor, at the kitchen counter, or at the dining room table. My younger son will follow me into whichever room that I am in to do his homework. It seems that some people work best when they aren't isolated from household activity. If that is the case with your child, then provide a small traveling office for him so that he has all of the necessary items at hand and won't waste time running around the house looking for a sharp pencil. With all the supplies nearby, and distractions limited to the general background noise of family living, your student ought to be able to concentrate on homework.

5. Set a Good Example
"Do as I say not as I do" is no longer considered appropriate parental advice. In order to instill the proper values in our children, we must model them. If we expect our children to be conscientious, hard-working students, then that is what they must see in us. Make an effort to show your child your work ethic by reading trade magazines and business books while they do their homework. Take out a pencil and write notes as you read. Investigate ideas fully. If you read something interesting in the newspaper, look up information about it on the Internet. Always be eager to learn something new. Sign up for an adult education class, teach yourself to knit, or write that novel you've always dreamed of. The more that you can show your child that learning is a lifelong adventure that requires their involvement, the more likely it is that homework will cease being a chore and start being an integral part of a life well-lived.

If you take the time to set up these parameters around homework, you'll find that you waste less energy arguing over homework and making up for lost assignments. You'll have more time and energy for other pursuits, and so will your child. What's more, you'll discover that the benefits of hassle free homework add up to more than just scheduling efficiency, they equal a better education.

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