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Monday, October 13, 2008

The Upside of Failure - lesson for kids who don't make the cut

Every child wants to succeed (And every parent would want his/her child to succeed even more!) Ace the quiz, win the playoffs, be the first in class.... the list goes on. However, in reality, whenever we are involved in competitive acitivies, theres always someone who wins and many others who lose.

We can't protect our children from experiencing defeat, but when it happens, we can teach them how to deal with it. Failure may disappoint and hurt a child, but it shouldn't devastate him. (Remember : Don't add salt to the wound by adding your dissapointment onto to your child)

It is important for a parent to put such moments in prespective. Here are some comforting words and enlighteniing lessons to pass along.

1. Its frustrating to lose, but don't beat yourself up about it. - Its Ok to be human. The truth is, nobody is perfect at everything they do.

2. Very successful people fail sometimes - some of them fail alot. Thomas Edison made 3000 attempts before creating a light bulb that worked! Do we call Edison a failure? No way...... He proved to be a brilliant inventor :)

3. Every failure can teach us something important. If you don't make the cut for a team, (Be it soccer, the band, drama etc.) find out what needs to be improved and act on it, instead of sulking or giving up your dream.

4.In every negative there is a positive. Find the positive! Ask yourself, What did I do well? What am I best at in this activity? What skills did I pick up, and how can I use them in the future?

5. Even though you fail at something, you are not a failure. You're still a good person. What do you call a major league baseball player who fails to get a hit seven out of 10 times at bat? Answer: an All-Star. It means that he's a .300 hitter and probably one of the best in baseball.

6. We can succeed only if we're willing to take risks and work hard. If you want to win the race, you have to enter the race and train to be a good runner. Winners don't have a guarantee that they will win every race, but the chance that they will makes it worth it.

7. The only people who never experience failure are those who give up. Star quarterback Tom Brady was a backup player during his first three years of college. He became so frustrated that he almost quit the team. Of course, he didn't, and he eventually become starting quaterback in his last year - and was drafted by New England Patriots after graduation. His team won 3 Super Bowls, and Tom was selected Most Valuable Player in 2 of the games. What would have happened if he had quit?

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Blogger The Healthy Mom said...

Great message, Bubbles. Positive reinforcement always works. I love your last point. My daughter learned that very same message in her karate class. They taught all the students to never give up. I've always been a very ambitious and determined person. Even when everything seems glum put your chin up, think positively and most importantly never give up.

October 14, 2008 at 8:03 AM  
Anonymous Laura Harvey said...

Whats everyone doing for safety precautions for Halloween? My husband came across an article (http://i-newswire.com/pr220892.html) with some info about background checking neighbors. I thought that may be a little overboard, but it had some other good suggestions for some precautions I haven't thought about. Last year my youngest son came down with a massive fever after Halloween. I almost thought about just taking the kids to our church's fall festival this year instead of door-to-door to prevent that from happening again. I don't know yet. What's your advice? Am I over-reacting or just being a concerned mom?

October 31, 2008 at 5:42 AM  
Anonymous moongoddesslae said...

Now I'm driven.. Good thing I stopped by to read. Nice!

November 9, 2008 at 6:21 PM  
Anonymous bill said...

I totally agree. It is what you do with failure is what makes a difference.

November 12, 2008 at 11:14 AM  

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